Cuchulainn's Heart
by CatGal15
Summary: My first attempt to write a Partholon story takes place after Brighid's Quest and focuses on Cuchulainn, and a truth forgotten by the ages. Fair warning; it has a slow start, but I think it's got some good moments.
1. Chapter 1

She was at the ocean, resting on a hammock. The stars were shining like millions of jewels on a velvet blanket; and the crash of the waves soothed her overworked nerves. Everything was blissful. She was finally at peace, for the first time since-

Her alarm clock went off, making Brianna flinch. She took a deep breath through the nose and rolled over, slapping her hand on what she thought was the snooze button. Instead, her palm struck a drinking glass, causing it to shatter; and she shot into a sitting position to see her bloody hand and soaked carpet.

"Shit, shit, shit! Fuck!" she yelled, instantly awake. As she sat there holding her wrist in a feeble attempt to prevent bloodflow to her hand, her father nearly ran the door over as he came charging inside; bringing with him the stench of alcohol that had pretty much become part of his identity.

"Aw, I just put this carpet in," he groaned.

"Or you made me pay the guys to put it in for you," Brianna muttered, standing up and moving wetly past her father into the hallway. "I need your alcohol."

"Excuse me?"

"For my hand! I need to sterilize!"

"I bought that for me. Go on and use the peroxide and I'll call an ambulance."

Brianna changed course, stepping into the washroom and grabbing the peroxide, which she opened single-handedly and dumped generously onto her sliced hand. She stood there for a long time, dripping peroxide and blood into the sink as she waited for the paramedics to arrive. When she tired of waiting, she dumped the soap from the bowl near the sink and held the bowl beneath her hand as she made her way into the kitchen, where her father had passed out at the dining table.

She was just about to start screaming at him when there was a knock at the door, and not really wanting her father to be awake Brianna walked to the shoe shelf, on top of which she placed the bowl and her hand inside of it before leaning to answer the door. She forced a smile at her oldest friend, Kristen.

"Hey, Bri! So I've been thinking a lot about your birthday, and I just cannot decide on a present, so I'm just going to ask you, what do you want?"

Brianna picked up the blood-filling bowl and showed it to her. "A ride to the hospital would be nice."

"Oh, God! Okay. Where's your purse?"

"My room, but - Oh, okay," she added as Kristen stepped into the house. "Watch where you walk!"

Kristen gave her a funny look as she walked into the hallway; and soon she emerged holding Brianna's dripping purse. "I hope it's water resistant."

"It's not," Brianna sighed. "But my cards are fine."

Kristen ushered Brianna out of the house and locked up the house before escorting her to a silver van. Both women groaned as the hot, car-freshener air came rushing into their faces. Brianna placed the bowl in her lap and struggled to buckle herself as Kristen sped away from the curb.

Brianna returned her good hand to the bowl, looking at Kristen's intense face before lowering her eyes to the speedometer. "Slow down, girl; it's not like I cut off a finger."

Kristen looked at the speedometer before relieving the brake.


	2. Chapter 2

Brianna held up her hand, surveying the stitches that held her skin together. "Huh," she said succinctly. "Look at that. The doctor gave me birthday bumps."

"God," Kristen muttered as she continued to avoid looking at her.

Brianna shrugged, putting the bowl down beside her. "It's a little early."

"How do you feel?"

"Oh, you know. Sew-sew."

Kristen rolled her eyes. Brianna stood and walked to the sink, putting the bowl inside and filling it with water. When she turned off the tap she sensed Kristen's close presence, and turned to look at her.

"You know, this wasn't my present."

"I don't need a present! I've got you." Brianna dumped the water from the bowl and frowned at the sight of the stubborn stains.

"What about Sawyer?"

"What?" Brianna turned to look at her.

"Well, you like Sawyer too, right?"

Brianna shrugged, feigning nonchalance. "Yeah, he's cool," she answered, even though secretly, she just wanted to...lick him.

Kristen raised her brows. "You know, you really fooled me."

"W-what?" Brianna repeated.

"I thought you liked him a lot, you know; I thought it was easy for you to hang out with him. I can't believe that all this time, it wasn't; I mean...it means a lot that you've tried so hard."

"I do like him! Look, it's just...it's hard for me to be around such a happy...couple. I've never had anyone." Brianna shrugged again, brushing some hair behind her ear.

"You will!"

Brianna shook her head. "No, Kris...You know my cousin Angela? She had her first kiss when she was twelve. I was twelve fifteen years ago."

"It's not a contest."

"Well, and, even if it were, it wouldn't be. There's got to be something wrong with me."

"No," Kristen said quickly. "No. That's not it. Look, I can set you up! Yeah, I can send a guy to your house on your birthday...He can have, like, a ribbon taped to his jacket."

"Oh? Do you do returns, or can you guarantee satisfaction?"

Kristen tilted her head. "Umm. No and no. But I promise the wrapping is real nice."

"Huh. I look forward to getting the package."

"Oh-" Kristen turned her head away, shuddering. "Okay, that's sick."

They stopped in front of the partially open door when they heard a muffled laugh on the other side. Moving quickly Kristen pulled the door shut. "See, that's why I don't like you saying things like that."

"What? She thought it was funny."

"She's sick, too. Why do you always have to make jokes?"

Brianna shrugged. "I like to leave people in stitches."

"Can you just be serious?"

"Okay. I seriously do not want to be set up."

"But you could be a happy couple! He could be the one!"

"I don't believe in there only being one. I think if any two people want to make it work, they can. And I'd like to think that if a guy did want to ask me out, he could do it himself." Brianna shrugged as she opened the door and led Kristen out into the hall. 


	3. Chapter 3

Brianna hadn't known that drying a carpet would be so loud. When her boss called, she had to duck out of the house to take the call. "Hello?"

"Portman. It's Riggs. Listen, we just got our third complaint to your department. You know about the three strikes rule."

"What was the complaint?"

"Food poisoning. Again. You're obviously not fit to prepare the food."

"But I know how to cook! I took Foodsafe!"

"I'm sorry, but three strikes and you're out. Maybe I should have fired you the first time."

"No, but..." The dial tone interrupted her and she slowly hung up, feeling numb and cold at the same time. Thinking it was the worst day ever, she let herself into the house and sank onto a kitchen chair.

Hopefully her birthday wouldn't suck so much. Her hand would have started healing, her carpet would be dry...and she would still be unemployed. She closed her eyes and listened to the annoying whines of the machine, feeling the first few spikes of a headache coming on, beating rhythmically in her mind like a tiny drummer.

Finally the noise died off, and the men came out of her room. "Okay, it's dry. Remember, though, don't walk on it for at least twelve hours."

Brianna gave a compliant nod. She didn't understand why she had to wait, and she didn't care. She thanked the men, paid them in cash and shut the door in their faces before they could see her tears.

Going to the cupboard, she hefted the Lindt Lindor chocolate bars and sugar cookies she had been storing for an emotional breakdown and retreated to the den to watch a movie. What was it about sweets that made her problems less burdening?

Mia Thermopolis had just found out she was a Genovian princess when Brianna received a text message. Bathed in the glow of the television, the phone and everything else was easy to see, and with a mouthful of cream-filled chocolate and a heart full of emptiness, Brianna grabbed her phone, flipped it open and opened her inbox. It was from Kristen, who apologized profusely before going on to say that she would be unable to visit Brianna on her birthday.

Brianna and Queen Clarisse sighed at the exact same time. "Oh, boo-hoo, your granddaughter's throwing a tantrum." Brianna shook her head and watched Mia run into her attic bedroom. "'I get a huge inheritance and my own country and the respect of millions. But it's not fair!'"

She turned off the television, covered herself with a fleece blanket, and curled up on the couch. "I'd give anything to be somewhere else," she muttered to herself.

Sleep was elusive, but finally she was pulled into the shadows of oblivion.

**-x-**

It was unnerving to wake up at three in the afternoon, and still have the whole house to herself. Brianna spent the majority of the rest of the day upstairs, playing on the computer, watching the television, and waiting for bedtime, or her father to wake up, whichever came first. By the time supper rolled around, she still had three hours until she could "safely" go into her bedroom. With one hand, she managed to have a complete shower.

Walking out into the hallway, she stopped nervously at the sight of her father, who smelled so strongly of alcohol that her stomach began to churn. "Hey," she said quickly, and ducked quickly out of the hall. Sadly, the smell followed her.

"Hey. Hey, what happened to your hand?"

"Uh, I cut myself. Remember?"

"No. Where...where did the stitches you got come from where?"

Brianna tried not to show how disappointed she was in him. "The hospital."

"Huh." Mr. Portman paused, frowning. "Did I take you?"

"No."

"Good, because I don't remem-remember." He moved sluggishly to the fridge, retrieved a beer and walked back down the hall. His door shut loudly, startling Brianna.

She shook her head and rolled her eyes. Tomorrow was just going to suck. Between her stitches, her drunk father probably going to forget to even wish her a happy birthday, and her friend not being able to stop by; Brianna was really tempted to just go out and do what she wanted. Go out for a bite, maybe pick up some new clothes and a cake, video chat with Angela, wash her new laundry, put it on, and wear it while she ate her cake.

But her money was not waterproof; and she had just lost $514. Heaving a sigh of the truly disgruntled, she went into the bathroom, grabbed her comb and walked back upstairs. Instead of watching more TV or playing on the computer, she walked right through the den and let herself out onto the shabby porch.

Ugly. So ugly. She closed the door and sat on the bench, which emitted a nasty creak like it was going to break. She slowly applied pressure until she was relaxed, and then began to comb out her hair, looking up at the sky and the fading glory of the sunset; and found herself thinking that its dark, bruised colors were a decent complement to her day.


	4. Chapter 4

The chatter of a bird was a much nicer awakening, and Brianna rolled over and opened her eyes, carefully reaching over to turn off her alarm clock before it went off. "And that's how it's done," she grumbled, pushing herself into a sitting position.

She took her time getting dressed, pulling on a cheerful, floral print sundress that would hopefully keep her cool. Stepping into her sandals, she strapped them over her feet and walked out of her bedroom, turning on the air conditioners and mentally cursing summer. She hated it. There was absolutely nothing good about it. There were more mosquitoes, more pollen, more forest fires, heat, heatstroke, sunstroke, and of course the bears were out...Brianna simply hated summer, and everyone always thought she was weird. Their only argument was, "But it's so beautiful!"

Well, she could just look at a picture taken on a summer day. She didn't care to get bitten, eaten, puffy, burned, or dead. A winter day could be beautiful. A tranquil snowfall, laughing children, the Christmas lights, the smell of pine...What the hell was so great about summer?

Well, aside from ordering pizza because it was too hot to use the oven. But that really just made her feel bad for the chefs.

Brianna took out a red popsicle and sat in front of the air conditioner until she had finished. As she threw out the plastic, her father yelled out from his room, "Happy birthday!"

"Thanks," she called back half-heartedly. And that was it. That was her birthday. She peered down the hall into his room. Yep, he was in bed, making no attempt to get up. And then the smell of vomit met her nose.

Brianna grabbed her phone, chucked it into her purse and locked herself out of the house. She had to go do something fun, something just for her.

Retrieving her bus pass from its pocket, she waited at the bus stop and began to plan her day. First she would go to the pet store, and just watch the animals. Then she would see if she could sneak into a movie. Then maybe she would try to score a free birthday something from a restaurant...

Remembering that she had been fired, she was blinking back tears as she got on the bus.

**-x-**

The pet shop wasn't very large, but it was filled with cages and tanks. The moment Brianna stepped into the store, she fell in love. Cats! Dozens of cats. One of them had grabbed its cage door with its paws and was standing on its hind legs staring at Brianna, and then it won her heart by letting out a series of strangely musical meows.

A litter of kittens walked on stubby legs inside their tank, crawling over each other. A cluster of puppies slept all squished together. Birds conversed in their secret language. Fish swam and turtles...well, they really just stank. Brianna was drawn to the puppies and kittens, wishing her money had not been damaged. Why, why hadn't she looked where her hand was?

A man came up to her with a grin on his face. "You looking to buy?"

"Just browsing."

"Alright. Let me know if you change your mind."

Brianna nodded, knowing deep in her disappointed heart that it wasn't an option. Could she play with the cats if she wasn't going to buy any? She turned to flag the employee back over, but he was talking to another customer.

Brianna turned and slowly retraced her steps to the other end of the aisle. No matter how cute the kittens and puppies were, she found herself drawn back to the cat with the musical meow. She knelt, petting its paw with a finger. Then she noticed the tag on top of the cage, and she read the words written on it in sloppy felt.

The cat's name was Hazel. She was a domestic shorthair. She was young, but also very sick. As Hazel stuck her nose through the bars and pressed it against Brianna's finger, Brianna's heart melted.

Damn it! She was one stupid accident too expensive. If Brianna had just been more careful! She stood up and walked swiftly from the store, knowing that if she stayed there much longer, she would break Hazel out and steal her.

Brianna sat on a bench and looked around for someone familiar, or perhaps money. Or a lost piece of jewelry that she could have appraised. Maybe for a cat. Maybe for the legal right to walk into a movie theater with popcorn. But the damn shoppers were careful.

Brianna looked into the store across from her, watching a pregnant woman pushing a baby stroller. Another baby sat in the carrier she wore like a backpack.

"Damn," Brianna muttered, suddenly feeling thin and lonely. As she smelled the enticing aroma of French fries and heard what shockingly sounded like Elmer Fudd's laugh in the distance, her phone began to ring.

Digging out her phone, she raised her brows at the caller ID. It was her oldest friend, whom she hadn't seen in two years. They hadn't spoken to each other in more. It was only the suspicion of an emergency that made Brianna take the call. "Judith?"

"Oh, good. I was hoping this was still your number."

She didn't sound like she was panicking. "What's up?"

"Well, I...I know we've grown apart and you probably don't even want to see me. But, well, I know it's your birthday, and I couldn't get you off my mind...Do you think we could hang out, and...talk?"

"Hm, I don't know," Brianna said uncertainly.

"No, you have to meet me; I got you a present. And I have some big news and I really want to see the look on your face!"

"Okay, okay," Brianna said hastily, afraid the people on the other side of the store would hear her. "We can meet. Where are you?"

"The bowling alley," Judith answered, sounding relieved.

Brianna sat up straighter. The only bowling alley in town was a ten minute walk.

"I'll be there soon."

"Okay!" Judith breathed happily. "Oh, I can't wait to see you."

"Yeah, you too," Brianna answered instinctively, wishing the words were true. "'Bye." She hung up, got to her sandal-clad feet and began walking, hoping dearly that she would not be expected to play a game in her little sundress with one good hand.


	5. Chapter 5

The parking lot of the bowling alley was almost empty; there were only seven cars, and they were parked ridiculously far apart. It was as if the cars did not want to be seen together. Brianna had never seen it like this; it was always packed, making the parking lot look a lot smaller than it was. The driver of what had been a really nice Porsche was intentionally skidding around in circles, causing the tires to smoke and screech.

As the bus roared away, Brianna stepped up onto the sidewalk that ran straight through the parking lot between two rows of parking spaces and right up to the crosswalk. She cast a nervous glance at the spinning Porsche before deciding it was safe to get off of the sidewalk, and she walked quickly up to the bowling alley, which was rather dark and quiet. Fearing that Judith was under the assumption she still lived in Chilliwack, Brianna pressed her face up to the glass.

The tip of a party hat poking above the counter made her realize that it was a surprise party. Well, almost. She pushed the door open and let herself in.

"SURPRISE!" nine people shouted, as they jumped from their hiding places. Brianna tried to make a decent expression of shock before she began looking at the people. "Wow. You really got me," she said, and she was unable to believe herself. She frowned when she noticed that Judith was not among them...but Kristen and Sawyer were.

"Happy birthday!" Kristen said, as she quickly hugged Brianna. "Were you really surprised?"

"I really was," Brianna answered, and when Kristen had walked away she added under her breath, "Last night."

Brianna thanked the guests, who took turns wishing her a happy birthday. Early into the party, Brianna noticed that wherever she went, a sinfully beautiful woman would closely follow, chattering ceaselessly.

"So he calls me at two in the morning," she was saying, "Hardly able to talk. All I could hear was, like, this gagging noise! And finally he asks me why I would put his grape juice in the bathroom, right, and I told him, I said, 'Honey, that's not grape juice; that's T D Bol.' And that's how he got sick. Want punch?"

"Is it spiked?" Brianna asked faintly.

"No."

"Oh. No thank you." Brianna walked to a table that only seated three, and plopped down beside Kristen, across from Sawyer. "Who's that woman who keeps following me?"

"You're kidding, right? That's Judith."

Brianna squinted at him. "Judith who?"

"Kelsey! You know, your friend..."

Brianna swiveled to look at the supermodel. "No. No way. Judith was..." Her words faltered and she could only gesture; holding her hands way out to demonstrate a big body.

"Yeah, was," Sawyer told her. "Six years ago."

Brianna quickly and quietly stood up and retreated back to Judith. "So, uh, did you...reserve the bowling alley?"

"Yup. And the pool is ours at three. But I thought it would be going a lot better."

"Yeah, I only know those guys over there, and you. Who are all these people?"

"Eh." Judith shrugged, smiling apologetically. "People who refused to leave."

"Great," Brianna said with a humorless chuckle. She watched as five of the people returned to the lanes and continued bowling.

"Well, I got you a present." Judith reached into her coat pocket and pulled out a very small box, holding it out to Brianna.

"It's not a ring, is it? Because I'd need to get to know you again."

Judith smiled and shook her head. "See, I missed you; I didn't miss the jokes."

Brianna quietly took the box and lifted the lid, and found herself staring at what appeared to be a plane ticket. She looked quickly up at Judith. "What is this?"

"An all-expenses-paid first class ticket...to California!"

"What, um, why?"

"Well, I figured I'd be lonely up there."

"You're taking me to California? Why?"

Judith shrugged happily. "Because I can!"

At Brianna's confused glance she sobered. "Okay. Um, about four years ago my father got an acting job. People loved him and he got really rich, really fast. But he couldn't handle the pressure, you know? So he got into the drugs. And when they killed him, I inherited everything." She tapped the ticket. "So you and me, we're going to Hollywood. I want to see if he got his star."

"And you invited me, because...you still can't spell Kelsey?"

"No, everything I said on the phone is true."

"Gee, I don't know; I mean, that's a long way from my father..."

"Aw, you're really close, aren't you."

"No, are you kidding? He can't be trusted." Brianna shrugged. "You know what, I appreciate the offer, but I need to think about it. I just, I really think I should stay close to home, keep an eye on him."

Judith nodded and they just stood there, watching the bowlers as time moved meticulously forward.

**-x-**

It was real fortunate Brianna hadn't worn a swimsuit to the bowling alley, or else she would have had no excuse to skip the second half of her party. She went home, dwelling on her mother's absence and her father's consecutive drinking binge. He had sobered up long enough to stumble into the bathroom, but it smelled like he had been too late.

Brianna grabbed the Febreze and held down the button, filling the air with spring. Then she hurried into her room before he could come out of the washroom and see her. Locking her door she sat on her bed, retrieved her ticket and turned it over in her uninjured fingers.

Obviously California was off the table. If he fell, or lost his marbles, she had to be there. But at least she could delay telling Judith. It would just hurt her if she knew that Brianna had known her decision from the start.

She felt terrible. The party had been a disaster; Kristen and Sawyer had left before she had, but Judith had to stay and notify the swimming pool employees that she would not be reserving the building for a pool party. And now she had to reject the flight, to a place she had always wanted to visit.

Could she get someone to babysit? Maybe Judith would be open to placing his sorry ass in a home. But...no, she could never ask.

Brianna sighed, picked up her phone and dialed Judith's number, but had to leave a message. "Judith, hi. It's Brianna. I just wanted to apologize for having to leave early. Thanks for going through the trouble. We should keep in touch; I might be able to make it up to you sometime. Okay, 'bye." She hung up, gritting her teeth and wishing she was better at...well, everything, but especially everything social.


	6. Chapter 6

The stars shone in a perfectly clear sky, like diamonds scattered upon velvet. The perfectly round moon was the only source of light, reflecting on the water as the waves came crashing up to shore...

A sudden flicker against her eyelids made Brianna distinctly aware that she was not stargazing on a beach, but rather laying upon an uncomfortable mattress. Her eyes snapped open and she tensed at the sight of the bright light that danced along her bedroom walls. For a moment she lay frozen, until a strange popping sound near her head startled her into motion. It was as she swung her legs to the floor that the faraway sirens began to wail.

Brianna hurried to the window and pushed aside the curtain, only to leap back at the sight of fire raging on the other side of the glass. With one hand raised to shield her eyes Brianna stumbled toward her door and put one hand on the knob. Hot! She yanked her hand away. Trapped...she was trapped!

Brianna didn't have to order herself to move. As if she was part-robot, she lunged to grab the axe near her bed. It was strictly for self-defense, but as she started hacking at the wall she was grateful her father had always been paranoid. Oh, shit, her father! Wordless shouts of desperation tore from her lips as she again buried the axe into the wall.

Suddenly the window exploded and glass flew into her bedroom. She felt several shards of glass slice into her skin, but she continued to hack her way out of her bedroom. The dents and cracks in her wall were growing as drywall flew, and she coughed as dust and smoke filled her lungs and blurred her vision. Consumed with the primal urge to escape immediate danger, she did not see the glass in her mirror suddenly ripple like water; nor the hand that suddenly reached from its fractured surface. Hearing only the deafening roar of the flames Brianna did not hear the voice that yelled, "Take my hand!"

The fire raged in through the window, spreading to her curtain and then her bed. The flames traveled quickly to sear her arm. Brianna screamed and whirled in an attempt to start hacking away the other wall, only to lurch back as what remained of the door was eaten away by the fire on the other side. She stumbled back and sagged against the wall, crying and screaming at the top of her lungs as the fire closed in.

She squeezed her eyes shut and sucked in another smoke-filled breath, knowing that within seconds she would be dead. With her lungs filled with poisoned air she let loose another scream when the fire painfully began to scorch her chest and face. She slumped against the mirror, raising her shaking, curled hands as the unbelievable heat ravaged her face. She couldn't breathe...She couldn't breathe! She couldn't breathe!

And then she felt a pair of arms grab her from behind, where there should have only been a wall. Her eyes were wrenched open as the arms dragged her backward through the frame of the mirror.

The last thing she felt before passing out from the pain was the sweet relief of cold water being poured onto her body.

**-x-**

The first time she regained consciousness was gentle, albeit confusing. When she opened her eyes the blackness did not lift; and then she realized it was because something had been wrapped around and around her head.

She started to raise her hands in an effort to remove her blindfold, but there was a sudden restriction on both arms; keeping them forced away from her face. Oh, God, what kind of foreplay was this? Wait...no, she wasn't playing. Memory rushed into her weary mind and she gasped against the odorous cloth lightly pressed against her lips.

Her father was dead.

And I'm dead too, Brianna thought with a silent sob. I'm all bandaged up; I'm a fucking mummy! Despair was easy to slip into and she slouched against what felt like a bed. No, a coffin. Because she was some kind of dead undead crypt keeper just like in the movies. Except she had been captured by the living...

There were suddenly two hands on both of her shoulders, pushing her into a sitting position; and she felt the hands on her left shoulder start to move away.

"Wait," somebody suddenly said, "You support her on that side; it will hurt her less."

And it was true. Her right shoulder was killing her. Theoretically, of course; since she was dead. The hands on her left shoulder returned to support her in a sitting position while the right hands quickly retreated. Suddenly the bandage over her mouth was being lifted to expose her mouth, and then something hard was being lightly pressed to her lips. A sweet but strong smell had her nose wrinkling.

"Drink this. It will help you, Healer."

Brianna's lips were trying to move in response before suddenly a thick liquid trickled across her tongue. It was sweet, but not the kind of sweet she would have enjoyed. Brianna felt her head being slowly tipped backward as more fluid entered her mouth, and unable to push the cup away she had no choice but to drink in order to avoid choking. Finally, when she was almost fully reclined on her coffin and the sweet smell had faded, the hardness was removed from against her lips.

"Good job, Healer. Rest now and recover from your ordeal. I will be right by your side."

Brianna slumped against the coffin and tried to sift through her blurry, broken memories. But her weakened body could not compete with the powerful drug, and she was led into syrup-scented sleep.

Her second awakening was not as pleasant. She rolled over and vomited twice, thankful her mouth was not still covered by the bandage. This time when she opened her eyes she could see, although there wasn't much of a view. She blinked hard, trying to clear her fuzzy vision. And finally the room came swimming reluctantly into focus.

She lay in the middle of the room, which was lit by torches mounted on stone walls. The floor was stone as well, giving the room a medieval castle kind of ambiance. A colorful tapestry hung on the wall, alight in color and beauty; depicting a lush field filled with centaurs, and even a human woman who seemed perfectly content to walk around bare-breasted, although she did have the modesty to cover up everything else.

Wondering at the sense of covering all but one's genitalia, Brianna looked to her left side to see an elderly man curiously watching her.

"Welcome back to life, Healer. Would you care for some water?"

Brianna didn't know why the old man was calling her Healer, but she did know she was extremely thirsty. When her voice would not obey her she nodded, and accepted a strange-looking cup from the old man's gnarled hands.

After much sipping and clearing her throat, Brianna found her voice. "Why are you calling me Healer?"

The old man paused, looking at her in concern. "I only address you by the title granted you by your chosen profession."

"I have no profession." Shit, her face hurt.

"Are you well, Brenna?"

Brianna slowly sat up straighter, discovering her face was not the only body part that was in excruciating pain. "My parents told me I have a sister I never met...I didn't know I could be mistaken for her."

The man jerked back. "Are you saying you were not returned to us by Epona?"

"What's an Epona?"

The man let out a soft, wounded noise of horror before standing and moving quickly to the door. Opening it he poked his head out into a hallway and spoke quickly and authoritatively to the owner of a shadow on the wall. "Bring your Chieftain here immediately." Then he closed the door in his face.

Turning back to Brianna, the elder surveyed her with uncertainty; then approaching her, he sat on the stool beside the bed on which Brianna sat. "The first thing you must know is that Epona is our Goddess."

"You know what, I'm not interested in hearing about your beliefs."

The man tried not to panic at the unusually blasphemous statement. "The Goddess is not merely my opinion. When Elphame arrives you will understand."

"El-" Brianna was truly confused. "What kind of name is that?"

"Child! You must learn right now to show Elphame some respect! She is the Chieftain; and the daughter of Epona's Chosen." He sighed at Brianna's expression. "I will explain later. For now you must only remember your manners!"

Brianna felt herself growing angry. "How about you mind yours and get out of my face?"

"Pardon me?"

"I'm dealing with a lot right now; I have no time for your pushy delusions." Brianna stood, and the floor suddenly swayed beneath her feet. She shook off the old man's touch even as they glared at each other. "I'm out of here." She walked resolutely toward the door; and just as she reached for the handle it began to turn.

Elphame opened the door and stopped, unable to look away from Brianna's familiar face. Without blinking she inched closer to Brianna, and gently touched her arm.

"Brenna," Elphame whispered, and smiled through her tears. "I can't believe it's you!"

Heavy with child, Elphame took a few seconds to figure out the angle of the hug she wanted to give Brianna, but suddenly Brianna jerked away. "I'm not Brenna. I'm...her twin sister, or some damn thing."

"You never mentioned siblings, my friend." Elphame smiled sadly. "Forgive me for saying so, but your sister would not have the same scars as you."

Brianna's eyes narrowed as fear and shock sliced her heart into pieces. "What?" she whispered, and began stumbling to the mirror. At the sight of the extensive damage to the right side of her face, she felt her world come crashing down.


	7. Chapter 7

Brianna stared into the mirror, unable to believe that it was her reflection she was seeing. With a violently shaking hand she held the cloth away from her skin. She looked normal on the left side of her face and body, but the right side had been horribly burned in the fire.

As she averted her gaze from the horrible sight she had become, she found herself staring at Elphame's very horse-like legs. What? There were only two of them...She turned quickly away from the mirror. "Where did you get your legs?"

"From my father."

"So your father went to a costume shop, bought you those legs..."

"What is a shop?" Elphame interrupted, looking quizzically at her.

Brianna raised a brow, deciding to play along. "Okay, so you mean you _inherited_ those legs from your father. Oh, God! You're part horse?"

"Yes."

Brianna made a face. "Your mother had sex with a horse?"

"Well, yes..."

"Ugh!" Brianna spat, and moved past Elphame and the elder, ducking her head to hide behind her hair before she turned the handle and stepped out into the hallway. Surely the whole sister thing was part of the prank; and so Brianna ran through the castle, not even knowing which way was out.

She hurried down a corridor, into a kitchen, and into another corridor. One of its walls was lined with archways leading out into a yard, except it was in the center of the castle. The building wrapped all the way around the yard. And there was a statue that looked a lot like Brianna...

Intrigued by the effigy, Brianna moved slowly into the courtyard, staring up at the statue's face. Her face. Except there were no scars. It looked the way she had before the fire. How long had she been bandaged up?

As she stared at the statue, she suddenly remembered being pulled through her mirror. Being grabbed from behind, even though the only entrance to her room had been in front of her.

The sound of hooves clopping on the stone made Brianna turn to look at Elphame just as she lunged out onto the grass. Seeing the fear on her old friend's face, Elphame walked forward.

"Where am I?"

"You're in Partholon, my friend."

"What the hell is that!" Brianna screamed.

Elphame gripped Brianna by her shoulders. "Easy! It's okay. There's nothing to fear; I promise you, you're safe now."

"What the hell is Partholon and who the hell is Epona?" Brianna demanded, swatting her away.

"Partholon is the place we're in. And Epona is the Goddess. I suppose she has resurrected you."

"Resurrected me?"

"Yes. You were dead for three years."

Brianna raised her brows. She most certainly had not died. "Who do you think I am?"

"You are the Healer of MacCallan Castle."

Brianna shook her head. "No...I'm an unemployed nobody from Mission, B.C."

"I have never heard of that location, and I am well-read. Your injuries must be more critical than I thought. Perhaps I should bring you to the Healer."

"If your friend Brenna was the Healer of MacCallan Castle, and this place already has a Healer, where are we?"

"We are stationed at Guardian Castle, set to return home in the morning. I hope you are fit to travel."

"The only place I'm going is back to my pathetic life in Mission."

"I'm terribly sorry, but no such place exists. I strongly suggest you keep that kind of talk to yourself. The locals will recognize you, and no good will come of it if they fear you lost your mind."

"I don't know the locals."

"I suppose being resurrected from death may have affected your memory."

"I was not dead! And I remember everything."

Elphame gazed at the perfect image of her friend, and gently brushed back some hair, exposing her fresh scars. "Maybe the sight of MacCallan Castle will refresh your memory."

"It won't. Believe me."

"I would like to, but there is absolutely no other explanation. You are obviously very important to the Goddess."

Brianna scoffed.

"Please, don't tell anyone else that you do not remember who you are."

"Then what am I supposed to do?"

"Just...pretend you remember."

"Okay, except I don't know very much about medicine."

Elphame paled. "Then I don't know what you should do."

"I should get out of here before anyone else sees me."

Elphame began to deny it, but found she couldn't. "Do you know which way is south?"

"Not from inside this dungeon."

Elphame gave a subtle shake of her head, her eyes narrowing just slightly in disapproval. "Well, when you do go outside, it would be best to avoid travelling into the southeast. My temple is there, and nothing good will come about if my brother sees you."

"Why?"

"You were going to marry him."

This time Brianna did not argue. Clearly Elphame was set on the belief that she was some reincarnated doctor. Arguing further would only be a waste of time; time that would be better spent on travelling home. So she walked away from the statue that was a likeness of herself and stepped into the hall. And froze, looking at the group of people walking toward her.

Seeing her there, the entire group stopped in their tracks, just staring at her. As they thawed and started reacting to the sight of her, Brianna did the only thing she could think of. She spun and ran through the corridor, launching herself into a room filled with beds. She kicked the door shut and hurried to a chair, pushing it up to the window. Grabbing the back of the chair, she hoisted herself onto the seat, pushed the window open and pulled herself over the edge, dropping onto the wet grass and running into the darkness toward the unknown.

**-x-**

It was almost twenty minutes later when Brianna parted a veil of flowering leaves and walked up to the forest's edge. It was peaceful here; there was no judgment, no utterly nonsensical blathering about some goddess. She took a moment to lean against the boulder and catch her breath, and then walked up to the trees that bordered a very medieval civilization. It was timeless and wild. A dirt road ran erratically through nature's dominance, and huts and cabins neighbored each other in the shadows of ancient trees.

And a horse pulled a carriage through the town. What the hell? Who still rode those things? As she stared at the carriage, making its way slowly down the path, another one suddenly trundled out from behind the tree obstructing Brianna's view. The second driver gave his horse an instruction that was lost on Brianna, and his horses responded by dodging the carriage in front of them and hastening their pace. As they blew by the carriage that had been in front of them, the man suddenly seemed to awaken.

Okay, so two people still rode horse carriages, but surely that didn't mean time had been reversed. Where was she? Which way was home? Brianna desperately needed to return and keep an eye on her ailing, stupid father. She should have been packing up her bags to go to California. Wasn't she?

Unless she had regained consciousness from a long coma, and the California tickets had expired nearly twenty years ago, and humans no longer used cars in a frantic attempt to preserve energy, the environment, themselves...not like the damage could be undone at this point.

Brianna stepped out of the forest, confident that the darkness of night and the fact that she was heading in the opposite direction would keep them from noticing her. Still, she would be passing by a lot of cabins, and so she ducked behind her hair, keeping her eyes loyally pointed to the path before her.

As she walked, she considered how she felt, and how youthful her appearance had been. There was no gray in her hair, nor were there wrinkles on her uninjured flesh. Her eyes were still bright and alive, and unframed by crow's feet. Unless she had been placed in cryo, there was no way she had aged twenty years. Time travel was out.

So maybe the horse carriage drivers just had a passion for how the world used to be. Still, hadn't Elphame said that they were in a castle? The only castles in or anywhere near Mission were bouncy castles and Castle Fun Park.

Brianna veered off to the side to slouch against a large, golden-green boulder when she suddenly felt light-headed and nauseated. What had she been thinking? The only thing Elphame had been right about was having a smidge of doubt in her ability to travel.

She closed her eyes and rested her head against the hardness of the craggy rock. She only meant to rest her eyes. But the utter exhaustion she had been trying to deny stifled her sheer desperation to return home, and she could only cling to her goal for several pounding heartbeats before she blacked out.


	8. Chapter 8

This time there were no stars, no waves. There was only the blackness of nothing even as she swam out of the foggy realm of unconsciousness. There had been no happy place. There hadn't even been a place.

As her senses returned to her weary body, she felt the strap on her uninjured hand, pinning it down to a somebody's shoulder. Around her waist, she could feel the tight restriction of a belt or a rope or something, keeping her immobilized on what felt like a horse. Perfectly content to reject her growing awareness, Brianna kept her eyes closed and let her thoughts dwell on the tragedy that had changed her life. What had started the fire? Was she at fault, having knocked her drink off the table?

Suddenly the woman with whom she rode shouted a command that scared Brianna into opening her eyes. "Open the gate!"

Brianna turned her head, and was shocked by the silver-blond hair that cascaded in a veil of silk down ivory shoulders. The horse trotted into the large, lush courtyard. "Bring your Chieftain to me, now!"

Brianna tensed, hoping dearly that the Chieftain to whom she referred was not Elphame. That supposed "Guardian Castle" was the last place she wanted to see. With her injured hand she began untying the rope that secured her to the horse.

"Elphame!"

"Brighid! It is so good to see you!"

"We have a problem. I found Brenna passed out near the woods."

As they continued to converse, rambling on about the Healer and the mythological figurehead to whom they were much too attached, Brianna finally managed to untie the knot, dropping the rope to the grass. Then she began working on the strap that kept her good hand secured to the woman's pale, tight shoulder.

"I know Brenna did nothing to get herself evicted from Epona's meadows."

"Certainly not! She must have some unfinished business."

With her hand free and her body unrestricted, Brianna finally pushed herself into a proper sitting position. "You are a terrible Chieftain!" she blurted, causing all activity in the courtyard to cease. "Lying to your people. Leading them into a world of delusions, and for what? Your own selfish peace of mind."

As Brighid looked over her shoulder at her injured, tired passenger, Brianna was thoroughly shocked to realize that there was no horse's head up front; and she raised a hand to her temple where the tiny drummer had returned for another concert. "Wha-Where is the head? I don't understand..."

Brighid turned back to Elphame. "What is she talking about?"

"Uh, the recent...being revived and all, really messed with her mind."

Brighid suddenly swiveled at the waist, grabbing Brianna and depositing her onto the ground. "Well, please notify me when she is back to her old self."

Then she turned and cantered through the courtyard. As Brianna gaped openly at her departing horse butt, Elphame leaned closer and spoke quietly but urgently. "Less shocked."

Brianna closed her mouth and looked around, trying to blink away the dark spots that kept creeping into the edges of her vision. "Where is the statue? How many interior yards does this place have?"

"Just the one. Welcome to MacCallan Castle. And remember, do not speak. You will only cause panic." Elphame kept her steady as she slowly escorted Brianna toward the entrance to the castle. "I am very happy you have returned, Brenna, but I regret seeing you here. My brother is here."

"You said he moved on."

"Yes, but he will still be very happy to see you."

"He doesn't know me. He knows Brenna."

"I will take you to my parents. They will confirm everything I told you."

"Of course they will. They taught you everything you know, right? You've just been parroting their delusions."

Elphame looked at her askance. "I love you, Brenna, but further blaspheme will get you removed from the temple."

"I was trying to remove myself. Then stupid Brighid finds me..."

"You must show your respect to our High Shaman! Keep quiet for now, and I promise, I will explain everything."

"Oh, goodie. That'll make this all less crazy."

Elphame shoved Brianna into a room, stepped inside and closed the door. "That is not keeping quiet," she said sternly, and moved down a hallway. "Mama?"

Brianna sat on a couch, surprised at the very fat, very soft cushions. With a sigh of pleasure she reclined on the couch. Fine, she could keep the rational truth to herself, but she would be sleeping here tonight.

Elphame soon returned, with a woman and a male centaur closely following. "Behold Epona's gift. Brenna."

Brianna stared at Elphame's parents, closely observing their openly delighted reactions. Etain hurried forth and knelt to give Brianna a hug. "Welcome back, daughter!"

"It's good to see you," Midhir said strangely. "I never thought we would."

"Yeah, I'm pretty surprised by everything, too," Brianna muttered.

A knock on the door summoned Elphame. "Adelaide is asking for you, my Lady."

Elphame turned around long enough to say, "I'll see you later. Excuse me." Then she followed the man, shutting the door to the den and isolating her parents with Brianna.

"Well...uh...if you'll excuse me as well, I'm very tired," Brianna began.

"Not surprising," Midhir rumbled.

"You may rest here, Brenna. In fact I recommend it, and I know you would, too, for one of your patients. You look in no condition to take on all those stairs." Etain hugged her again, kissing the top of her head. "It is good beyond words to have you back."

Then she and Midhir left, and Brianna blew out the candles before snuggling up under the blankets. Fighting a wave of sudden and very unexpected homesickness, she closed her eyes and tried to relax.

When Brianna would awaken later, she would be unsure if her dream could really be classified as a dream. She saw her old life; her father, her friends, except none of them had heads. Rather than speaking, they bumped blindly around each other, making zombie-like noises. Then, after each of them had spontaneously combusted, a scarlet mist was all that remained before Brianna finally struggled into consciousness.

And the sound of her phone dying really woke her up. She sat up, confident that the entire Partholon thing had been a surreal dream. Except the room was entirely unfamiliar. Instead of seeing the TV, she saw more chairs facing her, situated on the other side of the coffee table on which the candlesticks were residual puddles of goo. The windows had a rounded arch and over-looked the back courtyard, which seemed to feature a statue of a beautiful woman holding some kind of bowl.

And rather than waking up on the couch alone as she would have preferred, she saw the shadow of a woman pressing her face up to the glass panel on the door.

Brianna wiped at her eyes and went to the door, quietly pulling it open. The "castle" was really quiet. She heard nothing and saw nobody else.

"How do you feel, Healer?"

Brianna sighed, lifting her hair over her ear to hide her right side. "I feel ugly. And I feel ignored."

"Why, Healer?"

"Because everybody continues to call me Healer!" Brianna snapped, which effectively shut up the old lady. "I continue to tell them I am not Brenna, I don't know this world, I don't have an attachment to any deity..."

The old woman shooed Brianna into the den, following her inside and closing the door. "Well, you simply cannot go blurting that stuff out."

"And why not?"

"They believe you to be Brenna."

"They're mistaken."

"Regardless. They only see one person. MacCallan Castle is very loyal to its Chieftain, but you have only been accepted. You are not very important to most of Partholon, and if you continue to deny Epona, you will be hated and cast aside."

"Good. Whatever it takes to get me the hell out of this weird...nightmare."

The elder studied her with wise blue eyes. "I replaced you, or Brenna," she corrected when Brianna began to shake her head. "I replaced Brenna as Healer five days after her death. I am qualified to examine you."

"I don't need an examination. I need to go home." Brianna's eyes flicked to the mirror over the elder's shoulder. Seeing her staring, the elder turned to follow her gaze.

"What is it, child?"

Brianna managed a small, ironic smile. "I know you wouldn't believe me."

"Tell me anyway."

"Okay. Uh..." Brianna grimaced at her before walking to the mirror. "Um, I was in a fire." She paused long enough to motion quickly to her right side. "And someone, a woman, came through my mirror and-and pulled me through it, where there was no fire. And instead of being in my house, I was suddenly laying in the grass." Brianna's words stumbled to a halt when she saw the confused look the elder was giving her. "Damn it. I was hoping you did that," she muttered.

"I do not think anyone did that."

"Okay, well, how many women are in this castle?"

"The number has recently dropped down to thirteen women."

"Okay, so I'll just go around asking each of..." Brianna stopped and interrupted herself. "Oh, that's right, I was at Guardian."

The elder gave a slight frown. "Elphame was the only woman who was at Guardian Castle within the past ten days."

"Well, it wasn't her. She looked very surprised to see me."

"I remember." They pondered for a moment before the old lady suddenly smiled and grabbed Brianna's arm, her eyes lighting up. "Maybe it was Epona herself!"

Brianna shrugged indifferently. "As good an explanation as any."

"I think it is one of the more accurate explanations."

"The others being?"

"That Elphame was right: Epona revived you, and your memory is shot."

"No. No, that's not accurate, because...because centaurs do not exist where I'm from!" Bri-anna said triumphantly.

"What?"

"Yeah, and...and I'm positive you don't have phones here. Right?"

"Phones?"

Brianna dug into her pocket, grabbed her phone and held it out to the thoroughly astounded elder. "It's dead right now. I don't suppose you have electricity here?"

The woman responded by giving her a blank look.

"Eh, that's alright. I probably can't receive mail or calls anyway. It seems like a bigger problem than just being out of range. It's like...It's like another world or something." As Brianna scanned the ornate beauty of everything around her, suddenly her eyes lit up with realization. "It's another world!" she said, with more emphasis than she intended.

"How many worlds are there?"

"One more than I thought! That's got to be it! Centaurs, the whole unevolved thing. It's not personal," she added hastily. "I mean all of it. Carriages, no electricity. It's like I went back in time to the 19-fucking-20s or some shit...but with, like, movie elements. I'm rambling," she explained.

"I know."

Brianna turned to the mirror. "So maybe there's like, a portal or something in there. So all I have to do is go back through the mirror, right?"

"Uh, I don't know. It looks pretty solid."

"I have to try! I've got a life back there; I've got things to do." Brianna knelt and touched the glass, but after several moments the only thing she had accomplished was leaving fingerprints all over its surface. "I can't feel anything," she finally muttered.

"You are the living embodiment of one very dear to this castle. I have no doubt in my mind that you are invited, expected, to stay here as long as you wish."

"I don't wish! I just want all of this to be over."

The elder looked at her. "This is not a dream. And maybe there is nothing wrong with starting a new life."

"I am no Healer," Brianna growled. "And I will not pretend to be. I would only cause more harm than good."

"Then what do you suggest?"

Brianna shrugged helplessly. "I...I have to get out of here before Elphame's brother sees me."

"Then you had better hurry. He will be awake soon to watch the sunrise."

Brianna gave her a strained smile. "Can you do me a favor? Tell Brighid not to bring me back here again."

The elder grinned, making most of her wrinkles travel to her cheeks. Brianna was still smiling as she let herself out of the den and tried to retrace the steps she had taken with Elphame earlier that day.

After correcting two wrong turns, she burst out into the clarity of a lovely Partholonian night, and she stopped to take in the crisp air and clear skies. In the distance, she could hear the chorus of croaking frogs. And again, Brianna was overwhelmed with a wave of homesickness. It reminded her of her previous house; a big farmhouse on a street called Dewdney Trunk Road. Except of course for the castle behind her.

Brianna walked up to the gate as it came slowly open, and she squeezed through the slim gap between the doors and, seeing the horse carriage moving quickly toward her, she veered off to the side and headed for the thicket of blackberry bushes. A lot of them had been hacked away, leaving a nicely tended pathway, and she stepped between the bushes and hunkered down, waiting for the gates to be closed behind the carriage.

Then she abandoned the privacy of the bushes and walked away from MacCallan Castle.


	9. Chapter 9

What was her plan? What had she been thinking? She had fainted on her first attempt; and she had still not eaten. Unless somehow these guys had intravenous. And how could their Healer give her an examination without all the proper equipment? Was it just the nicer word for witch doctor?

Brianna heard the sound of flowing water, and she dedicated three minutes of her time to follow her ears. They led her into the forest, where she saw a pool of water with some kind of crushed soap. How long had she gone without bathing? Probably before she had those bandages on her face, and who knew how long ago they had been put there?

Brianna took several steps closer to the water, but stopped, looking around. Partholon may be another world, but people still watched people. They loved spying on them when they were trying to have some privacy. And Brianna had been dressing conservatively long before she had been scarred.

Without really thinking about it, her left hand slid over the damaged flesh on her right arm. Why couldn't they have left her original clothing on? Instead someone, probably the Healer, had undressed her while she was unconscious and unable to defend herself. And there were no women at Guardian Castle. It had been a man! A male doctor, with male body parts. Just the notion made her skin crawl.

She rubbed at her arms, trying to stop the shiver. Turning around she locked eyes with...a man. Of course. He was like the tall, strong, non-creepy version of Rumpelstiltskin; with his shaggy red hair and turquoise eyes. At the sight of her, he went very still, his eyes having a con-test with his mouth to see what could open the farthest.

Now he was creepy.

With a long stride he approached her. "Brenna," he said in a gravelly voice. Clearing his throat he lifted her injured hand to kiss it and quickly let it go, staring down at the stitches. Then his eyes shot up to hers. "How did this happen?"

"I broke a glass."

He grimaced, raising her other hand to his lips and kissing it. Lowering her hand slightly he covered it with his other hand. "How are you here?"

"I...I don't know," she lied, remembering what the elder and the Chieftain had said. "One minute I was...visiting my parents, and the next, I was under supervision at Guardian Castle. Uh, but Brighid and Elphame suspect unfinished business."

He brushed her hair away with an infinite gentleness that completely defied the strength of the sudden attack hug he gave her. "I missed you! I never forgot you."

Rendered breathless, Brianna could do little more than touch his forearms. "Uh, okay."

He pulled away, touching both of her cheeks. "Have you missed me?"

She stared at him, suddenly afraid he might be Elphame's brother. Knowing what she had to do, she pushed his hands away from her face. "Uh, no, actually. Being brought back from the dead really messed with my memory. I don't even know your name."

He looked heartbroken. "It's Cuchulainn."

Taken off-guard by the eccentric name, Brianna made a face before she could stop it. "Nice to meet you."

"This is not our first meeting. We were going to marry."

"I'm sorry, Cuchulainn, but I just don't remember you. In any event, I'm told you moved on. It doesn't matter, does it?"

"It matters to me. I know Brighid is my wife, and I love her." Cuchulainn gazed at her, again touching her scarred cheek. "But I loved you first," he went on. "And I cannot help but wonder if...she would let me love you again."

"Ugh!" Brianna exclaimed, and slapped him away. "Get away from me, you pig!"

"Brenna!" he cried, as she turned and walked swiftly away, and she quickly heard his rapid footsteps catching up to her. Suddenly he was in front of her, grabbing her good arm. "Brenna, wait. Please. I know you don't remember me. But I know you!"

"Not anymore."

"Forever! I know your birthday is November 3rd. I know your favorite jewel is the emerald."

Brianna stared at him. "How did you know all that?" she whispered.

"You told me."

Those three simple words made her remember that she was supposed to be Brenna, and so she quickly got back into character. "Right. Well, look, I'm sorry to have you tell you this, but none of this matters to me. It just doesn't. I don't remember you or MacCallan Castle or anyone else inside it. All I know is that I have to find my family."

She began to walk past him, but his words made her stop. "Your family is dead."

Brianna stared into the sunrise, suddenly feeling cold all over. She looked exactly like Brenna, even bearing the same scars, and they had both lost their entire family, too?

"I'm sorry, Brenna."

Feeling a deep sadness for her late mirror image, Brianna didn't know what else to do except stand there.

"But, you know, MacCallan Castle has been your family for years. We would rejoice knowing you had returned."

Brianna turned to look at him. "I can't stay."

"Why not?"

"I'm..." Brianna's voice ended on an upward inflection as she questioned her morals, and she shrugged, causing the right strap of her borrowed dress to slip down and expose the scars that marred her skin. "I'm listening to Epona. She brought me back for a reason, Cuchulainn, and it's so much more important than you committing infidelity. You're supposed to be a man of honour." Well, it sounded right; him being the Chieftain's brother.

Cuchulainn bowed his head at her words. "I don't know what to say," he finally murmured. "I hope you can forgive me."

Brianna didn't know what to say either. She turned and quietly walked through the forest. But where was she going? What was she doing? Suddenly she wished Epona were real, so that she could ask for guidance. She had never felt so alone.

At least the ridiculous lie was appealing. To have been given life by a goddess who deeply cared about her. But instead, Brenna had died, Brianna had been whisked from her pathetic life, and her best friend would falsely believe that the entire Portman family had been killed by one stupid accident.

Oh, hell, no. Brianna's feet slid to a stop as her mind began to explore the implications. She knew Kristen, and she knew her well. There would be a funeral. Even if nobody else showed up, even though Brianna's casket would be empty, there would be a grave with her name on it when she got back.

Brianna ran her hands through her hair and began pulling on it, as she always did when she was nervous, or in this case, freaking the fuck out. This had to be a horrible nightmare. It couldn't be real!

She began running. She ran faster than she had ever run before. She could barely see where her feet were going. Her heart was pounding and her eyes were blurring. She didn't stop. She didn't slow down, not even when she jarred her good shoulder against a tree and threw herself off balance. She didn't even know how she didn't fall. She just kept on running.

**-x-**

The path felt right. Different, but right. The directions were correct. The landscaping was the same, only wilder. Brianna followed a familiar pathway in a strange new world, hoping only to find her home.

The farmland was even in the right spot, except there was no fence; and in place of a muddy slough, there was a clear stream. The ground beneath her feet was of dirt instead of gravel, and the houses were definitely not modern. But the mountains dipped and soared in the right places, and the setting sun shone on the tree just right. Aside from minor landscaping details, the location was the mirror image of her neighborhood.

Worn out by the excessive travel, Brianna slowed to a brisk walk, pressing one hand over her pounding heart. Walking past the weeping willow that evoked childhood memories made on an entirely different planet, Brianna rounded the bend and lurched to a stop, gaping like a fool at the tragic view before her.

Her home-or rather, Brenna's home-had been horribly burnt; evident only by the dead grass and blackened terrain. Most of the roof had fallen into the cavity the house had become. Part house and part tunnel, the remains of the building were like a destroyed landmark that no one gave enough of a shit about to clean up.

Chunks and dust were all that remained of the porch. Brianna's breaths echoed in the dark as she stepped up into the ruins. Rendered blind, she bumped into the crumbled roof, and she raised her hands to pat and feel her way around the debris.

Overwhelmed with exhaustion and despair, when she found the space between the roof and what remained of the wall she ducked down into the gap and closed her eyes, content to sleep there...or die there.


	10. Chapter 10

When the sunlight hit her eyes, and the birdsong met her ears, Brianna stretched; and as her arms hit the roof her eyes snapped open. How could she have forgotten? How could she have dreamt about being a professional pianist at a time like this?

She gripped the roof and used it as momentum to pull herself noisily forward. Stepping out of the debris she walked with clunking footsteps toward the gaping maw that should have been her parents' room. Passing by the ragged strips of the wall, Brianna saw Brighid standing there with Elphame's "mama."

"I knew you would be here," Brighid said softly. "I sensed your spirit."

"Sure you did," Brianna grumbled, and she stepped carefully off the remains of Brenna's house. "Who are you again?"

"I am Brighid, High Shaman of Partholon. And this is Etain, Beloved Of Epona."

Etain graced the women with a lovely smile. "Now, Brighid. We are all beloved of Epona."

"I guess that doesn't apply to interplanetary outcasts," Brianna answered scaldingly.

"You are not an outcast. You are our dear Brenna-"

"No," Brianna interrupted loudly. "I'm not, and goddesses are...make-believe. They are like Santa Claus, and the tooth fairy, and...you have no idea what I'm talking about, do you?"

"No, but we understand your point."

"And we could not be more surprised or ashamed of you, Brenna!" Etain added, looking horrified. "You _know_ Epona is real. You have spent years praying to her!"

"Bullshit."

"Watch your tone. I am a High Priestess and I do not tolerate slander, not even from one so precious to my daughter."

"I don't know your daughter. And I don't care about any of this," Brianna went on, ignoring Etain's shock. "All I care about is finding any damn way I can to get back to my old, normal life."

"My dear Brenna." Etain walked closer, raising a loving hand toward Brianna's face and looking stunned when Brianna jerked away. "You escaped your old, normal life. You live at MacCallan Castle now."

Brianna shook her head. "I don't live anywhere near here," she bit. She began reaching for her phone, to show them some proof of her true identity. But the sight of the winged man walking around the corner had her hand stilling in her pocket.

Rendered speechless, Brianna took a hasty step back. Her face twisted in repulsion as she studied the ethereal creature. Finally she found her voice, and her emotions came spilling out in the form of an uncensored waterfall. "What the actual fuck is this damn shit?"

The winged man stepped forward, studying her carefully. "So then...you do not remember Fomorians?"

"Of course not! What - "

The winged man suddenly raised his long, pale, sharp-looking fingers toward Brianna, and she slapped him away, turned around and tried to flee. But suddenly he had thrown an arm around her and was restraining her.

"Careful, Lochlan, she is not herself!"

"I heard you the first time, my Lady. I have come prepared."

Suddenly there was a pinprick of pain in the back of Brianna's shoulder, and a warm feeling spread throughout Brianna's body before, frighteningly, she went numb; and with a sense of detachment she realized she was growing heavier and heavier in Lochlan's arms...

Then she knew nothing more.

**-x-**

The residents of MacCallan Castle were having a fine day. They certainly were not expecting Lochlan to come in through the gates, with an unconscious Brenna draped across his arms. All commotion stilled as the Fomorian carried the lifeless girl through the courtyard. As he neared the castle doors, Cuchulainn came strolling out of the castle and seeing history repeat itself, he stumbled to a halt.

"Oh, Goddess," he said in a strangled voice. All at once he was filled with an old hatred towards the Fomorian race. Knowing they had suffered enough and been redeemed, he helped close the distance between himself and Lochlan. As the courtyard echoed with the sounds of soft cries, he lifted Brenna from Lochlan's tired arms and carried her into the castle.

Sensing the judgment that surrounded him, Lochlan turned and folded his wings, scanning the attentive crowd. "She is alive," he said. Though his voice was quiet, it carried on the morning breeze. The castle inhabitants began to murmur in wonderment as Lochlan spun around and launched himself up the steps.


	11. Chapter 11

Brianna was not particularly fond of waking up in a strange room with a foggy mind and limited mobility. Though her entrance into Partholon had been her first time, she was already quite sick of it.

She was on a bed again. Hesitantly, she forced herself to open her eyes. And she found herself looking at a tapestry of another bare-breasted chick. This one had a wild mane of red hair, and she rode atop a male centaur. How embarrassing it must be, to go frolicking around without any lingerie. Oh, God, they did have underwear in this world, didn't they? If she kept getting drugged into unconsciousness, Brianna had a feeling she would end up needing fresh.

A voice from behind Brianna startled her. "That is my grandmother, Rhiannon MacCallan. I know you do not remember, but Elphame came here to restore her castle. That is how she met you."

"I met her trying to escape this castle. Obviously Brenna had more success."

"And more friends, as well. I am telling you now, honey. You are not making a good impression."

"I don't care what they think. I have to get home." Brianna stood and quickly slumped against the bed as the ground swayed beneath her feet. "Whoaa..."

"Easy. You have been through much these past seven-days."

"No, I need - seven days? Oh my God." Brianna pressed her hand to her unusually moist forehead. "Listen," she panted. "Elaine..."

"Etain."

"I...I need your help."

"You need to rest." Etain helped Brianna back into the chair. "I will help you afterward."

Brianna squinted at her in suspicion. "I hope so," she answered, and swung her legs up onto the bed. Laying down she rolled her eyes at the shameless display of nudity. Bouncing around unclothed on a horse? Ouch. Not to mention all the horny men who would disrespect the MacCallan.

Developing a strong loathing of Partholon, Brianna squeezed her eyes shut and tried to picture the beach, at night. The stars...the waves...a hammock. Where she stared up at the stars while Cuchulainn rubbed her feet...No! Her eyes came quickly open and she found herself staring into Etain's knowing eyes.

**-x-**

"There must be a reason Epona has resurrected Brenna." Restlessly, Brighid put her hands on her equine hips. "The Goddess does not waste time."

"Even though She has it in abundance," Cuchulainn chuckled.

Brighid nervously brushed her hair back. "I'm worried. This obviously means something."

"Maybe it would mean something if she had the faintest idea who she was. But she didn't even know she was scarred. It's like she's not even the same person!"

"I'm aware," Brighid said cryptically. "She thinks centaurs are supposed to be mythological. When she saw me...and when she saw Lochlan, she was beside herself."

"Really?"

"Yes. She denies Epona, she rejects Elphame, she even shied away from your mother."

Cuchulainn stared at her. "Don't you see? Brenna cannot do Epona's will if she does not remember her. Unless the Goddess screwed up..."

"Impossible."

"Then Brenna has simply lost her mind."

Brighid looked around the room they shared, wracking her weary mind for ideas. "Well, if Brenna won't beseech Epona's aid, I will. I accept the responsibility as the High Shaman of Partholon." She whirled around and clopped to the opposite end of the room. Cuchulainn watched her collect five candles. "I will need Ciara's assistance. Do you know where she is?"

"Brighid," Cuchulainn said, finally stilling his wife. "This is not your duty. The Goddess can care for Brenna."

"Like she did before?" Brighid blurted out, and they both froze, staring at each other in horror. Brighid finally turned away, rubbing her neck, hot with embarrassment. "Oh, Epona, forgive me," she whispered.

"Epona brought her back, and Epona will watch over her. She always has."

"Still...it never hurts to pray." Brighid opened the door and lunged into the hallway, and Cuchulainn listened to the clatter of her hooves fade.

Clopping into the kitchen, Brighid was met with the timeless scent of herbs and spices, and she inhaled deeply. "It smells divine," she told Wynne. "This reminds me, Avelia's patient is probably getting hungry again."

"She has a patient?" Wynne raised a red brow. "First time in months."

"Well, with the exception of Elphame's prenatal care."

"Yes, of course."

Brighid closely observed Wynne's nonchalant attitude. "So you have not seen her patient yet."

Wynne frowned at the centaur's close surveillance. "No...why? Is it an ogre?" she asked, partially joking. She lifted the platter of food off the counter and began walking toward Brighid.

"It's Brenna."

Wynne stopped abruptly and some food fell off of the tray as she speechlessly gawked at the High Shaman. "N-no, it canna be," she finally whispered.

"I'm telling you. Come see for yourself."

"I must!" Wynne said, and she carried the tray with her as she followed Brighid out of the kitchen and up the stairs to Brenna's chambers. Brighid opened the door and motioned Wynne through, and she stepped inside, staring in amazement at Brenna's sleeping form.

"Oh, Goddess," she whispered, and turning to Brighid she asked quietly, "How did this happen?"

"The prevailing opinion is Epona's divine intervention."

Wynne set the platter down on an otherwise empty table and shooed Brighid out into the hall, following her outside and closing the door to isolate their voices. "Even still, I donna understand. Brenna's life may have been short, but it was full."

"You can't think of any unfinished business?"

"No. Apart from marrying Cuchulainn and meetin' his parents...But the Goddess blessed his union with you. Epona would never revoke a blessing."

Brighid couldn't believe she hadn't thought of it that way. She decided to blame the initial shock of seeing Brenna alive again. Whose mind would it not blow?

She cast her confusion aside and looked at Wynne. "I must warn you, she is not her old self. She remembers nothing. She has shunned all of us, including Epona."

"Oh, the poor lass! She is obviously mentally injured. We must take diligent care of her."

"A good meal and the touch of a Healer is a fine start," Brighid answered, as the women walked away from Brenna's door. On the other side, Brianna withdrew a listening ear. Turning around, she fearfully looked around the large, strange, medieval castle-esque room.

Brianna turned to face the mirror and took one step toward it before the enticing aroma of food hit her nose, making her stomach growl. She quickly changed her direction, grabbing the tray of food off the table and hungrily shoving it into her mouth. How long had it gone since she had eaten? Probably about the same time she had gone to the bathroom. Obviously filling the huge void in her stomach was not the only business she needed to take care of before attempting to enter the portal. She had basically given up on the preferred belief that she was merely asleep, since everyone else claimed to be awake and real.

Brianna emptied her plate fairly quickly and set the plate down. She felt better, at least physically. Emotionally she was still a wreck.

She was walking to the door when, again, it opened in front of her. The elderly woman came walking in holding another tray of food. "Good afternoon. Are you hungry?"

"Yes," Brianna admitted.

Avelia handed her the tray. "I came to offer you an examination."

"I don't need an examination. I need to speak with Epona's Beloved," Brianna answered, her tongue tripping on the foreign title.

The Healer briefly studied Brianna's eyes. "You have not rested. I believe that was your end of the deal."

"I tried to rest, I couldn't. And I won't be able to," she continued loudly over Avelia's protests, "Until I speak with Etain. It's important."

"It is not as important as your health. Wherever you and your phone thing come from, it would be unwise to travel such a distance in your condition."

Brianna didn't have to dwell very long on the memory of passing out on the boulder. "You're right," she murmured.

"So eat, and sleep. And if there is anything else you require, tell me now."

"I need the toilet," Brianna said frankly, and Avelia tilted her head in wonder.

"The toilet?"

Brianna sighed. "I need to pee."

"You have an odd way of speaking. Follow me, then. I will take you to the lavatory."

Brianna stood and followed the elder from the room.


	12. Chapter 12

With an empty bladder and a full stomach, Brianna finally found her way into sleep. It started out in her happy place; except this time it was...different. Instead of picturing herself there, she actually was there. She could smell the ocean. She could feel the hammock beneath her. She could feel the breeze on her face.

There wasn't a single element of her dream that did not feel like real life. Brianna could even control her actions. She was not seeing herself as if through the eyes of another person; instead she was actually in her own body, as if she had been magically transported into the place she always went when she needed to relax. Her life had become a fantasy movie, except it wouldn't end with her first kiss, with a perfect guy who just so happened to be her true love.

True love wasn't a thing. Not with people. She did, however, truly love the realism of her dream. She turned her head to the side and watched the starlit shores roll up to the sand, reflecting the bright fullness of the moon. It was perfect...She could stay here forever.

And suddenly her spirit was sucked out of her body, which lay unconscious in Brenna's chambers. Before her mind could really process the turn of events, her floating body began to move forward, picking up speed as it moved over the ocean. Brianna craned her head to look over her shoulder, watching the distance grow between her and MacCallan Castle.

"Well, this isn't fair," Brianna grumbled. "I was finally happy."

_Observe._

Brianna flinched at the voice that seemed to surround her. Too stricken with shock to formulate an intelligent response, she remained silent as she levitated through Partholon. The aspect of realism did not diminish even as she floated through a world in which mythological creatures were not fake.

As she soared over the ocean, Brianna looked down at the ocean. The reflection of the moon-light and the fact that it was nighttime made it impossible to see through the surface. Suddenly it didn't matter anymore. Suddenly all she could see was fire. Automatically, Brianna cringed back and began screaming.

Just like when it seemed it would never end, Brianna was vomited from the fiery tunnel and into the zenith of her home. On her planet. As her body stilled in the air, she gaped at her house. It was an exact replica of Brenna's home, although she could deduce that Brenna's home had been damaged long before hers. Brianna's home was one big ruin; and paramedics, firefighters and police officers milled around the mess. Snippets of countless conversations drifted to Brianna on the night air. Brianna's wandering eyes soon found Kristen, who stood in front of a cluster of firemen gathered beside the blackened ruins that had once been columns. Without telling it to, her body floated toward them.

"We found two fully furnished bedrooms, but only one body," a fireman was telling Kristen.

"A woman?" Kristen asked anxiously.

"No, a man," the firefighter answered, and Kristen openly expressed her disappointment, making Brianna smile. "He is alive, and he was taken to the hospital."

"Do you think you'll find her?"

"No," another firefighter answered bluntly. "We've searched through the debris twice now..."

"Search again," a woman's unfamiliar voice commanded. The firefighters and Brianna turned to look in the direction Kristen was facing to see a stranger walking toward them. "And don't you stop until you find her."

Kristen squinted. "Who are you?"

"I am her mother."

"Her mother never came back," Kristen muttered, staring intently at the woman. "She wasn't good enough."

Brianna couldn't stop the smile that lifted her lips into a lopsided grin.

"I saw the news, I read the paper. I came as quickly as I could."

"You shouldn't have left," Kristen snapped. "When they do find her, what the hell makes you think Brianna will want anything to do with you?"

"I know she won't. And...I-I don't, either. I left because I wasn't ready for parenthood, and I'm still not. I just want to make sure she's okay."

"You expect me to believe that after all this time, you give a shit?"

Brianna's mother frowned at Kristen, studying her intently before she finally asked, "Are you my other daughter?"

Brianna could only be grateful it was just a dream. Her ghostly body began to float backwards, and she opened her mouth in a silent scream as she was sucked into the tunnel of fire. As she was spit out into the zenith of MacCallan Castle, she began crying.

"No, not Partholon," she wept. "I want to go home."

But the voice remained quiet, and Brianna phased through the wall and settled back into her sleeping body. She quickly came awake, and she hugged the pillow, pretended it was Hazel, and cried for the life she had lost before it had really been lived.

**-x-**

In the bedroom next to hers, Brighid withdrew a listening ear. "She's crying; she needs you," she firmly told Cuchulainn.

"Why me?"

"You are her only close friend who does not repulse her."

"I cannot be alone with Brenna." Cuchulainn waved a dismissive hand as he sat on the foot end of their bed. "As it turns out, I still have feelings for her."

She looked sadly at him. "I know," she sighed, and folded her equine legs so that she was kneeling before him and their eyes were almost even. "I know that. I still think you should go to her."

"Why!" he exclaimed.

"The last thing you and Brenna did was make love. I hate to say it. I hate to even think it. But if you make love to her again, it may jog her memory." Brighid straightened her spine and met his turquoise eyes with her lavender. "And if Epona has need of her, then it is even more important a union blessed by the Goddess."

"That's a lot of pressure on a simple 'if.' She doesn't know me; it's like we're back at square one!"

"Cuchulainn, right now she needs the touch of someone who loves her. You need to try. Epona might need her very soon."

Cuchulainn didn't move.

"It may have something to do with Elphame's baby," Brighid added, and Cuchulainn quickly stood with a grunt. Brighid turned at the waist and watched him go to the door, where he hesitated and looked back at her.

"Are you okay with this?"

"No," she answered honestly. "But I would hate it even more if we ignored a warning from the spirit realm."

Cuchulainn then remembered once making a vow that ignoring a warning from the spirit realm was something he would never do again, and he gave a tense nod before stepping out into the hallway.


	13. Chapter 13

Brianna's searching fingers explored the mirror, but it felt normal. She sighed and pressed one eye up close to the glass, hoping to catch a glimpse of another world, but all she could see was her close-up, teary-eyed reflection.

She turned away from the mirror in bitter disappointment and walked across her room, opening the door. Seeing Cuchulainn there with his fist raised, she jumped back, then sighed. "Is that how everyone plans to greet me?"

"Sorry."

"Actually, I'm glad you're here. I need someone's opinion. And I guess, who better than the Chieftain's brother?" Brianna turned and walked further into her room, turning to face Cuchulainn at the sound of her door closing. "Something very strange happened to me. I mean, something even stranger than all the other things."

"What happened?"

"Well, I was dreaming. And suddenly the scene changed, and I dreamt I was here, but... floating out. And I...I heard a woman's voice." Her words came to an abrupt halt at the way his eyes lit up.

"Epona spoke to you!"

"What?"

"You had the Magic Sleep! Oh, wow, Brenna - maybe you're Epona's future Chosen!"

"No. No," Brianna said sternly. "No, she did not resurrect me just so I could lead a castle. What am I saying? I've never been dead!"

"Yes, you were. I'll never forget it." His voice took on a rather hypnotic tone as he gazed into her eyes. "It was the most horrendous thing I had ever seen."

Brianna stared at him, suddenly feeling a rush of compassion for the man. "You saw it?" she asked in a hushed voice.

Cuchulainn nodded. Suddenly his eyes looked suspiciously brighter. "I watched Lochlan carry you toward me. I was covered in the blood from your neck wound."

Overwhelmed with grief for Brenna, and pity for Cuchulainn, Brianna lifted her hand and gave his shoulder a sympathetic squeeze. "I'm sorry you had to witness that."

"I didn't have to." He lay a heavy, warm hand on her arm. "We looked for you."

Brianna pushed him away and turned resolutely to the window, crossing the room. Her borrowed slippers scuffled on the stone floor. "Cuchulainn, there's something you need to know about me."

"I know everything about you."

"You know everything about Brenna. She's not me." Brianna turned to face him, reaching for her phone. "We're not the same person."

"Then how come all I can see when I look at you is the first woman I ever wanted to marry? To love and cherish my whole life?"

Brianna stared at him, suddenly questioning her actions. What good would come from telling him? Etain was going to help her cross the divide. There was no need to scare him, and that was only if he believed her.

Cuchulainn walked closer, smiling gently into her familiar doe brown eyes. With a gentle hand he pushed her hair over her right shoulder, exposing her scars. "I know what you've been through. I know about the fire," he whispered.

Brianna stared at him. Had he been the one to pull her through the mirror? It certainly seemed logical that she had been too busy panicking about her face being on fire to notice the gender of her rescuer.

"And I know where you like to be kissed," Cuchulainn whispered, and suddenly Brianna felt his hands roaming up her body as he began to bend closer -

Brianna turned her head and pushed on his chest. "No, stop. You're with Brighid now," she said breathlessly.

"We have her permission," he said hypnotically, as his hand caressed her rib. "She wants me to jog your memory by doing the last thing we did together."

"We had this discussion in the woods," she said, stilling his roaming hand. "Epona resurrected me for a reason."

"And you do not remember who She is." He raised his other hand and softly stroked her cheek, making her face tingle. "Let me help you. Let me love you."

Drawn by the physical attraction and the way he was looking at her, Brianna didn't realize she had leaned in towards him until he was kissing her and she found herself reciprocating. The kiss was surprisingly pleasant, and before she knew what was happening she found herself opening her mouth. His hands moved up her body before he wrapped his arms tightly around her. And suddenly Brianna turned her head, her eyes flying open. "I come from another world," she blurted out.

Cuchulainn released her like he had discovered she was poisonous, and he stared at her. "What?" he finally said.

She looked unblinkingly at him as the truth poured unstoppably out. "My name is Brianna. I come from a planet called Earth. I was a chef. I don't know you. She's still dead."

He took several slow steps backward, covering his eyes with shaking hands. "No. You're Brenna. You have to be."

"But I'm not, Cuchulainn!" she shouted.

"But...but all those things you said..."

"I lied to you."

Cuchulainn dropped his hands, staring at her in shock before finally, he turned around and yanked open the door, walking swiftly from her room. Alone, Brianna closed her eyes and tried to stop trembling.

**-x-**

Cuchulainn burst into the room he shared with Brighid, and found her sharing the dinner table with his mother. "She's not Brenna," he growled, closing the door loudly.

"Of course she is!"

"No, she comes from another planet." Cuchulainn strode to the table and began pouring himself a glass of wine. "She told me she lied. She comes from this place called Earth and she's a cook like Wynne." He upended the glass.

"Perhaps this explains why I have not been able to read Brenna lately," Etain murmured thoughtfully. "And I considered her assumed revival to be of significant importance."

"You mean there was actually something you didn't know?"

"Yes, and it worried me from the beginning." Etain stood up. "Excuse me. I must have a private word with the Goddess."

Etain left and Cuchulainn pushed the door shut behind his mother. Alone with Brighid he raised his eyes to hers. "I can't believe what you almost had me do."

"We all thought she was Brenna, Cu. If she fooled Etain, nobody would have ever known the difference."

"Well, my love? Is she still more important than our union?"

Brighid shrugged an ivory shoulder. "I'm not sure."

"What!"

"We still don't know why she's here. Or how."

Cuchulainn put his hands on his hips, looking at the wall they shared with Brianna's. Then he sighed and walked to Brighid. "My mother will get to the bottom of it soon enough."

Brighid was quiet, gazing at him with worry in her jewel-colored eyes.


	14. Chapter 14

Alone in her room, Brianna paced. She hadn't known what had happened. One minute she was talking about her dream, and the next minute she had been kissing him. She had kissed a married man.

She didn't want to be the other woman. Her father's girlfriend had been the other woman, and Brianna hated her. From the way she had tried to usurp her mother's place to the way she chewed her gum, Brianna hated her. And now she was no better.

What if Brighid had been the pregnant one? Brianna would have had an affair with a child's father. That child would have hated Brianna just as much as she hated herself.

Why wasn't the damn mirror working? Brianna crossed her arms and shook her head. The fire must have severed the connection when the glass broke. Was there another portal? Oh, fuck, was she stuck here for life?

Brianna crossed the room, flung her door open and walked through MacCallan Castle. This time she was able to locate the kitchen with only one wrong turn, and she quickly squelched the pride she felt at the accomplishment. She did not want to get too familiar with this place. She would find her way back home if it was the last thing she did.

The kitchen was empty, aside from Wynne, who was busy peeling and cutting potatoes. She spared Brianna a quick glance. "Evenin', Healer."

"Good evening," Brianna repeated emptily. She plopped into one of many available chairs. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"What does the term 'Magic Sleep' mean around here?"

Wynne turned around to face her, crossing her thick arms. "It's the Goddess' way of showin' her Beloved the things she needs to see."

"What kind of things?" Brianna asked, as she drummed her fingers.

"Events that are takin' place, usually. Sometimes the events of the past."

"But it's never made-up?" Brianna gasped, her fingers stilling on the table.

"Nay. The Goddess does not dilly-dally around."

Brianna sat frozen in her chair, listening to the rhythmic peeling and cutting of the potatoes and feeling her heart trying to pound its way out of her chest. A sister...she had a sister? Her mother had another family? Oh, shit, her sister lived on another planet; Brianna was a martian...She stood up and walked numbly toward the huge archway that led into the hallway. As she murmured delayed thanks to Wynne and left the kitchen, she spotted Etain walking toward her with a practiced combination of grace and power.

"I must speak with you. Now," Etain told her.

Brianna turned as Etain brushed past her, and she followed Epona's Beloved into the courtyard, which was also otherwise abandoned. Brianna stopped in front of the fountain and stared up at the beautiful woman holding the basin from which the water flowed. "Where is everyone?"

"They have retired for the night, which is fine. Our conversation really should be a private one."

Brianna turned attentively to her. "Yes?"

Etain smiled at the soft-spoken, shy young woman and reverently touched her cheek. "It is unfortunate you are not the reincarnation of my daughter-in-law...I never got to meet her."

Brianna's eyes widened. "You...you know?"

"The Goddess told me many things. In fact there are multiple divides to your planet; however they can only be crossed when a blood sacrifice is made."

Brianna's face fell. "Oh."

"No one lives forever, sweetheart. You will return one day."

Brianna briefly thought about her father and found herself thinking that if only he had died, she would have been home already. Selfish? Perhaps. But so was he.

"Epona told me She let you see your world," Etain continued. "It is a rare privilege."

"I...don't feel privileged," Brianna admitted with a shrug.

"Would you have preferred to die in that fire?"

Brianna was surprisingly quiet as she gave the question serious consideration. Etain put a gentle hand on her shoulder. "Perhaps it is time for a new beginning."

Brianna continued to reflect upon the events that had taken place as she went up to her borrowed bedroom and got under the covers. True, she had just found out she had a half-sister; but that was hardly a loss. They didn't know each other. And she was not particularly happy with either parent.

The person she couldn't imagine living without was Kristen. The feeling of heartache was becoming entirely too familiar as Brianna rolled over, closed her eyes and tried to quell her emotional thoughts long enough to sleep.

**-x-**

Brianna must have fallen asleep eventually, because when she opened her eyes it was daytime. She kicked off the covers and changed into fresh clothing, which was a silk dress the color of Brighid's eyes. It wove around and around her body and was held in place with a pin in the shape of a plunging horse.

"Why don't I just wear a towel with a clothespin?" Brianna grumbled to herself. She shrugged into an open top with sleeves to hide her scarred arm, and kept her face ducked as she left the chamber that had belonged to her late lookalike. As she moved down the hallway, she continued trying to fold her sweater over itself to hide the scars on her chest.

Brianna located the lavatory and relieved herself, and then pulled Wynne aside, speaking quietly. "Where do we bathe?"

"There's a nice bathin' pool in the forest."

"In the forest? In the open?"

"Yes."

Brianna ducked her face as she felt her cheeks grow hot with embarrassment, and she pressed her hands against her clothing to keep it in place as she hurried from the castle. No way could she bathe outdoors! She was supposed to have her own private washroom, with a locking door. And electricity. And toilet paper.

Her emotions flooded over and she stepped outside to lean against the fence surrounding MacCallan Castle as tears blurred her vision. As she leaned there and wiped away her tears, she reminded herself over and over again that it was a crime to kill.

She was supposed to be waiting for a phone call to see if she had gotten accepted into college. Granted, she would be a little older than most of the students, but it was always better late than never.

She was supposed to be returning home from California, with stories to share and memories to cherish. Not this. Not Partholon.

Brianna lifted her head as a Fomorian approached and stopped in front of her. "What?" she asked, semi-audibly.

"Are you well? I was hoping we would see you tonight at the celebration."

"The celebration for what?"

"You!" the Fomorian laughed.

Brianna's eyes went wide. "Oh, no, that's not necessary. Really."

"Now, now. It's not every day one is brought back from the dead!"

"That never happened. I'm not Brenna." She shook her head almost imperceptibly. "I'm done lying."

Ciara whirled around to watch Brianna walk swiftly away.

As Brianna walked quickly through the path, she suddenly became aware of the feeling of the bandages wrapped around her hand, and she lifted it in consideration. A blood sacrifice...Did it have to be fatal? Or could she just sacrifice the feeling in her hand? Maybe she had found another world just because she misjudged where her alarm clock was.

No, that couldn't be it. Could it? Blood was blood. The only question was, how much did Kristen really mean to her?

Brianna retraced her steps to the bathing pool and looked quickly around before stripping and jumping into the water, gasping at how cold it was. She grabbed the soapstone and hurriedly began to scrub. The sooner she got out of the water, the better.

And then she needed to speak with Etain.


	15. Chapter 15

Clean and very cold, Brianna walked through the woods rubbing her arms briskly. Was it just her imagination, or did they look blue? It was hard to tell. Clouds had rolled over Partholon and the sunlight was muted.

The gate to MacCallan Castle opened as she walked by the blackberry bushes, and she squeezed through the slim gap and walked unfalteringly into the castle. Walking past the column she could hear what Partholon must call music. There were no musical instruments. There were only voices, singing almost in unison, and in a very different modulation. Brianna winced as she stopped beside one of the surprisingly ornate columns. Why had she not noticed its beauty before?

The column was nicer than the voices of the animals that had to be cooking alive, and Brianna hurried to find Etain. She could not live in a world without her MP3 and a way to charge it. Music made the world a better place...Well, not this world.

"Healer!" someone exclaimed, hurrying up to her. "I was told to keep an eye out for you. Elphame has a present for you behind the castle."

"Oh. Uh, why?"

"Well, because you mean a lot to her, Healer. And because it is a belated birthday present."

"Okay. Um, thank you." Brianna blinked, thrown off by the respectful bow he gave her. She gave him a nervous smile and began to cross the spacious hallway, searching for a back exit. Finally she found a long handle beside a huge window, and pulling open the door she slowly looked up, realizing in amazement that the door was at least two storeys tall. Gaping like the tourist she was, she stepped out behind the castle. Elphame stood there with a beautiful, silky brown horse; with black hooves, and a black mane and tail.

Elphame was looking in derision at the horse, who was nosing her protruding belly. "Stop that! I am not your mother." She cupped the horse's face and stepped backward, looking at Brianna. "Boy, am I glad you're here."

"What's going on?"

Elphame tilted her head at the peculiar expression. "Considering your importance to your Chieftain, not to mention your birthday, I thought it would be proper to give you a horse. I certainly don't want one of my closest friends to be going everywhere on foot."

Brianna winced at the Chieftain. "I can't stay."

"Why, sure you can! You stayed before." Elphame patted the horse's back. "It seems you have slighted Brighid, so I don't think you can ride her anymore. I purchased this cute thing especially for you. What do you think of him?"

Brianna shrugged, studying the horse. "I think he reminds me of your father."

Elphame snorted at her, tossing her the reins. "Can you ride?"

"Uh, nope." Brianna grinned at her.

"Aw, you'll learn. I'll help you!"

"But you're a mixed breed." Brianna raised a brow at her. "I mean, when you ride a horse, you're really just walking."

Elphame chuckled, sliding her hands over her belly. Suddenly her giggles died. "Oh, come feel! Come feel, she's kicking."

Brianna hurried to her, touching the Chieftain's belly. The next kick felt unnaturally sharp, and Brianna yanked her hand away, raising her eyes to Elphame's shocked face. "Was that a hoof?"

"It felt like it," Elphame laughed nervously. "Oh, I hope she only has two."

Brianna nodded vigorously in agreement.

"Get on," Elphame said breathlessly, holding the horse still. "Get on, let's see."

Brianna nervously attempted to mount. It took three tries before she was able to successfully straddle the horse, and she tightly clutched the reins. "He's a tall one," she said faintly, staring down at the ground.

"Oh, not that tall. I'm taller. Okay, I'll lead, okay? Real slow."

Brianna lurched uncomfortably backward as the horse began inching forth. "Uh, do you know how to ride?"

"No. I run."

Brianna sucked air through her teeth. "Don't buck, don't buck, don't buck..."

"He's used to riders! It'll be okay." Elphame tilted her head. "And if it isn't, that is a good name."

Brianna tightened her grip on the reins, feeling her nails digging into her palms as she concentrated on the spot between the horse's ears.

"You seemed fine when you were riding Brighid."

"I was tied down!" Brianna exclaimed, and gasped as the horse tossed its head and whinnied. "You know, I really just wanted to speak to your mom," she stammered. Then her lips tilted up in a sardonic smile. "Or should I say Buck's grandmother?"

"No. You should not."

Brianna chuckled as Elphame turned, halting the horse. "See? That wasn't so bad. We can do more later; I need to, uh..."

"Use the lavatory?"

"Yeah."

Brianna began to dismount. "Well, thanks for the horse. That was thoughtful."

"You are most welcome. Happy birthday."

Brianna gasped as she fell off the horse, landing on her back. She gave a strained smile as it began raining on her face. "Of course."

"Are you okay?"

Brianna rolled over with a groan. "I'm invincible, as always." She took Elphame's hand and let the Chieftain pull her up. "Thanks."

"It came at a price," Elphame grumbled, stomping her hooves as she walked swiftly towards the washrooms. Needing a hug, Brianna turned and leaned into her new horse, stroking his sleek neck.

**-x-**

"O Goddess of our hearts, protectress of things wild and free. We thank You for Your presence here and for your power that works through water...through earth...through air...and through fire. Strike, Goddess lights!"

There was a smattering of applause as the candles that elegantly decorated the tables were suddenly lit as if by themselves. Not finished speaking, Ciara did not let the noise interrupt her. "This is a day of bounty and joy, worthy to be celebrated, as in times far ancient our mothers taught us to honor you, O Goddess. Your light will ever guide those who have been lost in the dark. All hail Epona!"

The cheer echoed throughout the castle, resonating off the walls in countless voices. Ciara looked around the thoroughly decorated castle. "Maybe when the celebration is over, we could leave it like this," she tittered.

"It is very attractive," Brighid answered.

"I'll go get the birthday girl," Avelia said, and she moved quickly but delicately from the room.

"How are things between you and Brenna?" Elphame asked with a ladylike groan, as she sat in a chair beside Brighid.

Knowing full well the difference between Brenna and Brianna, Brighid answered honestly. "Couldn't be better," she answered perkily.

Elphame smiled and cluelessly watched the food be brought into the room.

"Listen, um...while we're on the subject of Brenna, I need to speak with you after the party," Brighid said hastily, before she could change her mind.

"Alright." Elphame smiled brightly and waved to someone across the room.

Brighid folded her equine legs and knelt at the table, looking at the candlelit faces of the clan. Then she turned her head to look at Elphame, who was making a face. "Is something wrong?"

"No, it just...the food is...Hormones." Elphame waved a hand dismissively. "It's fine."

Brighid nodded and tried to be understanding. A movement from ahead made her lift her eyes, and she watched as Avelia ushered Brianna into the hall. Seated on a table in the midst of the beautiful sight of the transformed castle were all of Clan MacCallan; and they were all looking at her. Brianna's feet slid to a halt as she absorbed the strange sensation of being noticed. Her eyes nervously passed over theirs. She had the horrible sensation that she was blushing again. She felt hot from head to foot, and not in the good way that Cuchulainn had made her feel.

Elphame lurched awkwardly to her hooves, which scuffled loudly on the polished floor. Her grunt echoed in the quietness and suddenly she was the one with an audience. "Brenna, on behalf of Clan MacCallan, we welcome you. To life, to home, and to this celebration. Please come sit with me, your Chieftain, your friend."

Brianna ducked her head to hide her face behind her long hair as she walked swiftly to the empty seat between Elphame and her father. Keeping her head bowed, she plopped down into the chair and avoided eye contact, folding her hands in her lap. Suddenly she missed being invisible.

As the sounds of dinner slowly began, Brianna loaded her plate and began to eat. Quickly.

Elphame tore her eyes away from the surprising sight of petite Brenna eating like...well, eating like a horse, to the source of the hand on her shoulder. Etain smiled at her daughter. "I am so proud of you."

Elphame grinned, laying a hand on top of her mother's. "Thank you."

"You are a fine Chieftain. And you will be pleased to know that Arianrhod will be here before the next moon."

Elphame's vision was blurred by tears of joy. "Oh, good!" she said emotionally, and one hand trailed over the ornate column beside her. Suddenly a masculine voice swept powerfully but gently through her mind: _You are loved._

Elphame brushed away her tears and kept eating, unaware of the ominous meaning in the message.


	16. Chapter 16

"We have been blessed," Elphame began, speaking in a clear and powerful voice. "In many ways. But the blessing for which I am most thankful is the resurrection of Brenna. I do not know why she is here again...but I won't complain."

Murmured agreement swept through the clan as Brianna shared an anxious glance with Etain.

Elphame walked noisily to stand behind Brianna, on whom she put both her hands. "This woman is obviously very important to the Goddess. She is to all of us. She has always been loyal, caring, and honest."

Brianna's eyes shot nervously up to where Etain was sitting, with a pained expression.

"But, Epona resurrected her for a reason. So let's make this celebration quick." Elphame turned back toward her chair and abruptly added, "Can someone please get the spinach away from me? And the meat, too, please. And-and the rice." Elphame sat, averting her eyes away from the food as the dishes were moved away.

"It is safe now, my Lady."

Elphame brought her eyes back to the table. "Thank you." Smiling at Brianna she reached over to give her hand a friendly squeeze.

"Ow! Bad hand, bad hand," Brianna blurted out, and Elphame quickly dropped it.

"Oh! I'm sorry!"

Brianna forced herself to smile, even though she just wanted to be in Mission again, on Earth, with her friends. Forcing away the burning sensation that always stung her eyes just before crying, she swallowed past the lump in her throat and continued eating.

"It is too bad you are too pregnant to dance," Lochlan told Elphame. "I bet you are a natural at tap."

"A Chieftain does not dance. It is unruly to start hopping about."

Etain raised her brows. "I dance," she commented, and took another bite.

"Well...I don't." Elphame shrugged.

"Do you sing?"

"No."

Cuchulainn wiped his mouth with his napkin. "Yeah, there's something you should know about your wife. For someone who is expected to live a life of luxury, she really doesn't know how to relax."

"You think singing is relaxing? Go ahead. Sing," Elphame challenged.

"Please Goddess, no!" Brighid cried out, making several clan members laugh.

Brianna scoffed, thinking it had probably been Cuchulainn she had heard earlier that day. Suddenly all eyes were on her again.

"I thought you liked his singing," Elphame commented.

Not willing to sully the reputation of a dead woman she resembled, Brianna could do little more than shrug.

"People say all kinds of things when they're in a relationship," Brighid said dismissively. Her eyes found Elphame and then Etain. "And some of it is even true," she added, and quickly shoved her loaded fork into her mouth.

"Like when Cu said you have a big mouth," Elphame muttered, and smiled sweetly at her.

Brighid only nodded, making no attempt to defend herself.

"Alright, Brenna," Cuchulainn stated, and Brianna lifted her eyes at the challenge she could sense in those two words. "You think you can sing better?"

Brianna looked at Brighid for help. "How did this happen?" she murmured.

Fortunately Avelia saved her ass. "I would advise against it. You have been through much recently and should not overexert yourself."

The clan expressed their disappointment, but did not argue out of respect for the Healer. And apparently Avelia.

As the members of the castle began to converse with those sitting nearest them, Brianna looked at the Healer and mouthed her thanks before resuming her meal.

Eventually, when the plates had been emptied and the tables were being pushed back to make room for dancing, Elphame rose slowly to her hooves and quietly excused herself, waving goodnight to her friends as she left the hall. With her gone, Cuchulainn approached Brianna. "You are lucky you missed her moodswings," was how he greeted her. "For awhile there she was a living nightmare."

"Well, I'm sure it's not easy being pregnant." Brianna watched the children Fomorians attempt to dance. "And on top of it, being a Chieftain."

Cuchulainn raised his brows and grinned at her. "You finally sound like you believe us."

"Well, you believe you," Brianna grumbled. "I tried arguing with crazy, but it didn't work. I'm still here."

Cuchulainn watched the children with her. "You can stay, you know," he finally said. "I hope you do."

"I'm not Brenna."

He looked at her. "You don't have to be."

She turned her eyes to Midhir and Etain, who actually danced well together; somehow making the freaky weirdness of the entire world a beautiful thing, as he twirled her and shuffled his equine legs. Then he pulled her against him and leaned forward as she leaned backward.

Brianna was impartial to watching people (and horses) dance, but she did not like to participate. Mainly because she could not dance. She looked back at Cuchulainn, who still stood with her, slowly swaying from side to side ever so slightly.

"I couldn't do that to Brenna's friends."

His body stopped moving, but his head swiveled so their eyes could meet. "What do you mean?"

"They would never see me for me. And if I die first, they would have to go through it all over again."

"You will not die the same way she did," Cuchulainn said, but his voice had turned to gravel. His expression was flat. "Look at my great-grandmother. She died in childbirth, after being expelled from inside of a tree. Her mirror image on the other hand, died old and happy."

"I'm sorry. Your great-grandmother was stuck in a tree?"

"Weirder things have happened."

"Not once where I come from."

Cuchulainn's sardonic smile was lopsided. "You come from a strange place," he said, and she scoffed in amusement. "This world needs someone like Brenna. You're all we have left of her."

"You never should have seen me. This has all been a mistake..." Brianna shrugged. "I don't even know whose."

He stared at her. "How can I convince you to stay?"

She turned to face him directly, crossing her arms. "It's not your decision, Cuchulainn," she said, quietly and firmly. "You might know a few details about me. But you don't know that I worked hard to get where I'm supposed to be."

Cuchulainn raised his hands. "Sorry."

"I can't live in someone else's shadow," Brianna continued. "I've spent most of my life making sure that doesn't happen." She detached from the wall and quickly left the celebration that had been nothing but an unnecessary waste of time.

Her dour mood and early departure did not dampen the spirits of the clan, and Brianna could still hear the celebration about half an hour later as she tidied the bedroom of her late twin. She only realized that she was whistling when from behind her, Avelia asked, "What song is that?"

Brianna turned quickly. "Ghost Love Score," she said sheepishly.

"What? What does that mean?"

"I don't know." Brianna waved a dismissive hand.

"No matter. I came to see if you are well. Most people would not hasten from a celebration in their name."

"I'm not most people." Brianna looked down at the bed as she made it up. "I told Ciara this was not necessary."

"Ciara believes Brenna was brought back. In her mind it is necessary."

"No. I told her the truth. But it doesn't matter what world I'm in; people just don't listen. Unless they think I'm making a joke." She took her anger out on the pillow, fluffing it with a fist. "I guess I did that to myself."

"I like a good sense of humor."

"Me too. But nothing's funny anymore." Brianna opened the drapes and looked down at the turquoise necklace on the ledge. She picked it up, letting the string fall through her fingers.

"I think you may have left the party a little too early. It sounds like you could use it."

"I think having fun is what made people think I can't be taken seriously. I just want to be alone."

Avelia bowed her head. "As you wish, Brianna," she said quietly, and let herself out without an argument. Touched by the Healer's compassion, Brianna forced her tears away and put on Brenna's necklace. Trying desperately not to burst into tears, she curled up on her lookalike's bed and tried to focus on the cherished memories she did have.

**-x-**

Brianna had not been sleeping long, but she was dreaming about coming face to face with the scarred Healer she resembled. In her dreaming mind, one of them did not have scars, but Cuchulainn could not tell them apart. Then they began to smoke and spark.

Brianna came awake in her bed. Or rather, the bed she was using in Partholon. Daylight still shone in and the rain still fell, pattering nicely against the window. And then Brianna heard the crying.

She untangled herself and stood up, quickening her pace when the cries stopped long enough for someone to yell, "Help me!"

Brianna let herself out into the hall and followed her ears to Elphame's door. But when she turned the handle, the door did not open. It only bumped into a restriction on the other side.

"Elphame?"

"Help me," Elphame sobbed.

Brianna backed up and then threw herself into the door. On her third attempt the door finally exploded open, dragging the carpet with it and rolling it up beneath the door. Elphame sat on her bed, leaning backward. Moisture ran down her legs. Sweating profusely, she managed to smile at Brianna. "Good," she panted, "I was...hoping it was...a Healer."

Brianna stumbled backward and spun to face the stairs. "Avelia!" she screamed.

"You...can do it," Elphame gasped.

"I really can't!" Brianna cried, and ran from the doorway. "Avelia!" she shrieked, as she stopped in front of the rail and peered over at the concerned faces below. "Someone get the Healer, now!" she shouted, her voice filling with a power she didn't know how to wield. The music stopped and the people froze as Avelia came charging through the crowd. As she moved quickly up the stairs, her exhausted, elderly eyes were wide with panic and never left Brianna's.

"It's the baby," Brianna said, in a strange voice she didn't recognize. She backed up to let Avelia through, and she was quickly followed by Lochlan and Cuchulainn.

Lochlan stopped, gripping Brianna by the arm. "Why did you not help her?"

"I did help her. The door was stuck."

Lochlan dropped her hand. "My heart!" he whispered, as he moved woodenly down the hallway, his wings closed tightly against his back. Suddenly he paused in the doorway and looked back at Brianna. "Come. Avelia will teach you what you are."

Brianna was walking toward him before her mind could comprehend what he meant. She stopped in front of the stairs and looked wildly down below for help, but all she could see were strangers who cheered her on and motioned her ahead.

Suddenly Lochlan was pulling her into the chamber. Nervous and totally out of her element, Brianna tried to resist when she was pushed closer to Elphame's laboring body. But when Lochlan stopped pushing her, Elphame pulled on her hand, forcing her right into her personal space. Brianna tried not to faint at the raw stench of blood.

"I need you here," Elphame said roughly. She was so drenched in perspiration that Brianna's terrified heart went out to her, and she found herself slicking back the Chieftain's hair.

"It will be over soon. You're going to be a mommy," Brianna whispered. She didn't know what else to say.

Elphame clenched her teeth and nodded. "Yeah...yeah."

"Focus on that. Your baby is going to love you so much." Brianna looked wildly at Cuchulainn for support, and he nodded in approval.

"Thank...you. I know you would have made someone...very happy," Elphame strained.

"Would have made?"

"Healers do not generally have families," Lochlan informed her.

"I'm not a Healer." Brianna looked sadly at Elphame. "And I'm not Brenna."

Through her exhaustion and fear, Elphame suddenly understood what Brianna was saying and she wearily lifted her head. "W-what?"

"I am not Brenna. I come from a different planet."

Elphame dropped her head onto the bed. "Why...why was I not told this before?"

"I tried. You all wanted Brenna back so badly, you were more willing to believe she was crazy than still dead." Brianna shrugged sadly. "And then I was told not to say anything...because I would only cause panic."

Elphame didn't answer, staring unblinkingly up at the ceiling and looking much too white. Avelia suddenly leaned forth. "Elphame?"

"Yes." Elphame's eyes flitted back to Brianna. "That was me," she whispered, as Lochlan wiped her forehead.

"Yeah, it was. But...not just you."

Elphame smiled tiredly. "Well...where do you come from?" she asked, so quietly that Brianna had to lean in to hear her.

"A place called Earth."

"Earth?" Elphame rolled her head to look at her. "Really? You named the entire planet after the ground you walk on?"

"I had nothing to do with it," Brianna defended herself quickly. "It happened hundreds and hundreds of years ago."

Elphame smiled and patted Brianna's hand twice, the third pat landing beside her on the bed. "Then I won't judge you. Listen...wherever you come from...I'm sure you'll make a fine wife...one day."

"Someone like your brother's mirror image?" Brianna quipped.

"Do I have one?" Cuchulainn asked.

"According to your mother," Brianna answered.

"Then...I hope you do end up with his mirror image." Elphame smiled wearily. "Mine would be lucky to have you as a sister-in-law."

Brianna curled her lip at Elphame's exposed equine legs. "Hmph. If my nieces and nephews are extremely hairy, I'll know your wish came true."

Ignoring the pain that wracked her body completely, Elphame chuckled.

"It is time!" Avelia suddenly announced. "You are fully dilated. Push!"

"Breathe!" Brianna added. (She had watched a lot of ER.)

"Push!"

"Breathe!"

"I - get it!" Elphame gasped, and raised her upper body, pushing with all of her strength. Brianna made a face as Avelia grabbed her with a hand that had just been in a very unholy place and pulled her to the end of the bed, forcing her to look at a sight she did not want to see.

"Push harder!" Avelia commanded.

Elphame fell against the bed. "I can't," she gasped.

"You don't have a choice, Elphame! Now!"

Drowning in sweat and struggling for air, Elphame rolled her head to the side to look at Avelia. Instead, she was caught off-guard by the sight of the ghost of the MacCallan watching her. She was so disturbed by the sight of him that she failed to notice when Avelia motioned for more pillows and blankets, even though Elphame had not pushed a second time.

Etain frowned at the excessive blood that stained the nest of pillows and sheets, and her expression caught Cuchulainn's attention.

Elphame stared at the MacCallan, until a ripple of pain made her body bow. At the same instant she spotted the excessive blood between her legs, her stomach began twitching spasmodically from within, bringing an unbelievable agony. Through the buzzing in her ears, she thought she heard somebody yell, "This isn't right!"

But maybe that was her own voice. Elphame could not tell. She was no longer aware of her body; only the pain that filled it. When Elphame threw her head back and screamed, Brianna nearly passed out at the sight of another thick torrent of blood washing through the saturated nest of pillows and sheets.

"Brianna, do something useful, I can't do this by myself!" Avelia screamed. Her lap and hands were slick with blood.

Elphame couldn't hear her. She didn't even hear her own cries for help; and Brianna lurched backward, her cry of horror one of many as Elphame's stomach exploded in a shower of blood that sprayed the walls. As Elphame collapsed heavily, a winged mutant rose from the destroyed cavity of Elphame's stomach.

Nobody spoke. Nobody moved.

The baby Fomorian made an animalistic gurgling noise before starting to cry. Finally people began to move again. Finally Lochlan moved forward and lifted the child into his arms; and looking at his dead wife he found himself perfectly content to cry with her.


	17. Chapter 17

The path was blurred by her tears as she ran unseeingly through the castle, through the gates and into the woods. Tripping over a large root, Brianna crumpled to her hands and knees, and she let herself fall onto her side in the dirt. Laying there in the grass and the mud, she sobbed so hard she thought she would vomit. She cried for the horrendous thing she had witnessed. She cried for the child who would know the pain of growing up without a mother. She cried for the father who would have to raise the girl alone.

She wasn't just crying for herself...Really.

Brianna was positive that she was ugly-crying. It was only the sudden taste of dirt that made her sit up, wiping her tongue. Then she wrapped her arms around her knees and cried into her borrowed clothing. She had never felt more disgusting in all her life, and she didn't give a fart in a hurricane. She just wanted to be home! She wanted to be on a planet where the Alien movie was just fiction. But could she find it in herself to be happy Partholon wasn't like The Mist...?

A brilliance suddenly glowed against her eyes, and she looked up through her tears to see a beautiful and stunningly semi-transparent woman hovering before her.

"Oh, good grief, I've lost my damn mind."

Epona floated closer. _You have not lost your mind, Brianna Portman. I am the Goddess._

Brianna forced back more tears, fiercely wiping her cheeks. "W-w-what?"

_The blood sacrifice has been made._

Brianna slowly collected herself, rising on numb feet. "You're...real?"

The Goddess smiled. _Whose voice had you thought you heard?_

Brianna looked down as her tears poured down her cheeks. Suddenly Epona was before her, lifting her chin with a hand that felt completely solid, defying its semi-transparent appearance. _You may return home and be assured that Elphame will rest eternally in My meadows. Your life awaits..._

The Goddess had begun floating backwards, and She suddenly evaporated, leaving sparkles in Her wake. As Brianna stared in open amazement, the sparkles faded into thin air, leaving no trace of Epona's arrival.

Brianna ran her hands through her hair and pulled on it, pulling out some leaves. She clapped her hands together, then turned around and moved quickly through the woods.

**-x-**

Brianna may have been tired when she reached her destination. She may have been hungry. She was unsure what she felt. All she knew was the raw emptiness inside that kept her oblivious to everything else. With zombie-like steps, she shuffled up to Brenna's house and stepped up into the remains.

The cavity the house had become reminded Brianna of what Elphame's destroyed body had looked like, and she was crying again as she patted the ruins, looking for a portal. It had looked no different than her house. Before the damage. After the damage. There was no difference. Except for, well, appliances and stuff.

Her home could be found in either world, but when she found the portal she did not feel a rush of pride at her intelligence to figure it out. She felt nothing. Nothing at all.

She stared into the rippling air, at the image that formed inside the wavering pool. A streetlight. A porch light.

Brianna closed her eyes and bowed her head. "Rest in peace, Elphame," she whispered, and opened her eyes as her tears began anew. She took a deep breath and stepped into the portal before her.

She did not exit the divide as gracefully as she had entered it. Somehow she found herself in the middle of a somersault, which she had never been able to do. Not as a child and especially not now. She collapsed face-first in the ruins and rolled over to look up at the sky. Wait...why was it flashing? Why was it red?

Her stomach revolted, and she vomited all over herself before passing out.


	18. Chapter 18

When Brianna opened her eyes next, she saw fluorescent lights on a panel ceiling. She could smell rubbing alcohol, and she heard the distinctive sound of high heels clopping on linoleum. For a brief moment she tensed, thinking they were centaur hooves.

But then she heard a mechanical beep at her side, and she turned her head to see...an IV bag! And she also saw, disquietingly, that the outside world was whiter than the pristine hospital interior.

She sat up and was infinitely grateful that nothing had been accidentally amputated. Keeping one hand on the side handle of the hospital bed, she stood up and tested her ability to stand. She felt fairly confident, so she took slow steps back and forth through the hospital room. Her body was the only thing that felt normal. She didn't see any of her loved ones. She didn't see any of her things.

She continued pacing in the small space inside of her closed curtain, until it was parted from the other side by a plump nurse. "Well, good mornin', Ms. Portman!" she twanged. "I thought you'd be down for awhile longer."

"How long have I been down?"

"Almost two months. It's December 15th."

Shaken by the news, Brianna sat hard on the gurney. "Wh...where's my family?"

"I'm not sure. You did have one frequent visitor, but it has been three days since his last visit. But we've got some good news for ya. We've been keepin' tabs on yer vitals. You're all set."

Brianna raised a brow. "One visitor? Not, say, a woman with blue eyes and blond hair?"

"Oh, her? I haven't seen her in weeks."

Brianna was comprehending the meaning behind her words when her stomach growled loudly, making the nurse chuckle. "The food here is free. Our kitchen staff makes excellent sandwiches."

"Thanks." Brianna stood up, noting that considering how her hair was freshly washed and her body smelled of soap, her hospital gown was awfully stale. When the nurse was gone she lifted back the fabric and smelled down her shirt. Yep, just as she thought. They had only been washing her arms and legs. Lovely.

Feeling excessively gross, Brianna went to the closet and raided it for two fresh gowns, then had a nice hot shower. Within minutes she felt decent enough to go into the kitchen where people were trying to eat, and order as much as it would take to fill the void in her stomach.

Coming into the little kitchen, Brianna approached the counter and ordered a sandwich, then waited by the counter for it to be made. As she stood there she leaned a little closer to the employee. "Who do I complain to about service?"

The employee nodded towards a customer. "That man in the orange shirt, that's him."

Brianna looked over her shoulder and then nodded to the employee in acknowledgement. "Thank you."

The doors in the back came over and...and Brianna felt her heart begin to ache. It was Wynne...or perhaps, Wynne's mirror image. She was exactly the same, except her apron was on top of different, modern clothing.

"Are you alright? You look like you've just seen a ghost," the employee said.

Brianna nodded slowly. "I did," she answered, and forced herself to smile at Wynne's mirror as she accepted the sandwich from her waiting hands. Turning around she approached the man in the orange shirt. "Excuse me."

He looked up at her. "Yes?"

"Do you take care of complaints?"

"Yes, I do."

"Good." She sat in front of him, her eyes narrowing in displeasure. "I recently came out of a two-month coma," which felt so bizarre to say, "And I realized that the nurses had only been washing my arms and legs, and they also didn't change my gown."

"I'm sorry to hear it, miss; I'll take care of it right away." He stood up and carried his food with him out the door. Brianna turned to look at the food staff, but in her depression she forgot to smile at them. As she left in search of a phone, she wondered why they looked so nervous...

**-x-**

Brianna hitchhiked to her uncle's house where her father had been staying. Her uncle had sounded amazed to hear from her, and when he opened the door he offered her an awkward hand shake. "I never thought I'd see you again," was how he greeted her. He stepped back and opened the door, and surveyed her hospital gowns and sock-clad feet. "Come into the living room, we've got a surprise for you. And I don't think it should be put off."

Brianna was wary of her somewhat unfamiliar uncle as he escorted her into the nicely decorated living room, where there were multiple wrapped presents placed around the room. Her father had been watching TV, but upon her entrance he shut it off and lurched to his feet with a sober steadiness that thoroughly shocked her.

"What's all this?" Brianna asked, as she walked toward him.

"I didn't want you to wake up with nothing. People kept telling me you might not wake up, but you know me, I'm an optimist."

Brianna snorted in response. The years blurred by drunkenness would beg to differ.

"I think you should open this one first," Mr. Portman said, as he pushed a relatively large box towards her. Feeling like she had entered a whole new life, a strange third life, Brianna sat down and began to open the gift. As she unwrapped it her eyes continued to find the sober, clean man who had possessed her father. (Stranger things had happened...)

Lifting the lid off the box the sides fell open, revealing a hamper full of clothes. "Oh. Okay. Thank you. That...I can definitely use that." She looked down and saw a book-like present at her feet. She lifted it and looked at her father, who nodded in approval before she began tearing it open.

"Alone At Ninety Foot," she sighed, looking fondly at the familiar cover.

"The only book I remember you liking."

Brianna gave him the shadow of a smile, still feeling dead inside. "Thank you."

Two boxes remained, one of which was also book-like but hollow on top. As Brianna ripped into it, tears sprang into her eyes as she clearly pictured Elphame's childbirth. Thinking she was only devastated by the loss of their house, and touched deeply by the gesture of giving back, her uncle grinned happily.

The present in her lap turned out to be deodorant, shampoo, various hair accessories; and the final present turned out to be a small blanket, a bedsheet, a new pillow and a fresh pillow case.

"Thank you. I appreciate this," she answered in a voice so much unlike her own, it made her father's heart hurt.

"What's wrong, Bri?"

Her voice still sounded dead even as she answered, "Nothing. This is fantastic. I'm very grateful. Thank you both."

Without making a single joke, she gathered her new toiletries into her arms and headed into the washroom. Alone with his brother, Mr. Portman looked at him in concern.


	19. Chapter 19

Another hot shower later, Brianna still didn't feel cleansed of the awful memory of what had happened to Elphame. As she stood in the shower, and her tears mixed with the water, she knew it would haunt her forever.

She changed out of the hospital gowns, and got dressed. Her new laundry smelled of dryer sheets, but the clothing still fit perfectly. But of course, she hadn't grown much since she was a child.

She felt cleaner, but she didn't feel better. She threw the hospital gowns into the washer and quietly let herself out of the bathroom. As she moved tiredly down the hallway, she heard her uncle's voice. "You need to tell her."

"She would hate me."

"Look, I think that ship has sailed. She took you into her home and you did nothing but drink yourself away."

"That's not true."

"What did you do on her birthday?"

There was a slight pause. "I drank. Okay, I get your point. My child hates me. How can I tell her the fire was my fault?"

"You just did," Brianna cut in, walking into the room. "Do you know why Kristen didn't come to see me?"

"Oh God. I'm sorry. I was drinking, and I lit a smoke and I dropped the lighter...I know, everyone was telling me to be careful and that I'd have an accident someday..." Mr. Portman stared into his daughter's eyes, wondering how he could possibly regain her trust.

"Maybe she got that job she applied for," Brianna murmured thoughtfully.

Her father gave an apologetic shake of his head. "No, I don't think that's it."

"Really? She was fully qualified."

"No, she got the job," Mr. Portman said, looking dreadfully at his brother. "Um, Kristen...moved on."

"Moved on how?"

"From you."

"From me?" Brianna raised her brows, looking at her silent uncle. "I'm obviously not dead."

"I know."

"Does she know?"

"Yes. But she...she didn't want to be your friend anymore."

"What? Why not?"

"Well, because of your scars, Bri."

"Because of my scars?" Brianna repeated, dumbfounded by her father's words. "No, it...it can't be because of that. My Kristen is better than that."

"I'm afraid not."

Brianna's eyes shot wildly to her uncle, whom she startled by addressing him abruptly in a sharp voice. "Can I use your phone?"

"Yeah. Yeah."

Brianna turned and swiftly left the living room. But she returned much too soon, staring at her relatives and looking fragile. "She hung up on me," she said, almost imperceptibly.

"I'm sorry, Bri."

"I don't believe this. I thought she was my friend..." Brianna looked at them in sadness and confusion. She sighed and turned away from them. "I'm going to go lay down. Goodnight."

"Goodnight, sweetie."

"Goodnight," her uncle echoed. With zombie-like steps Brianna walked down the hall and stepped down into the second living room, where her new bedding had been put. Taking all but the bedsheet, she made a little nest for herself on the floor, and arranged the blanket over herself, unfolding the corners and freeing her feet as she mentally grieved. She couldn't believe this was happening...She thought Kristen had been a true friend. She was the single reason Brianna had crossed the portal and left Partholon! Where at least people kept saying she was important. But here that was nothing but a placebo; a sugar-coated shitstack.

Brianna had never truly understood what people meant when they said that beauty is only skin deep. Were they saying that people could only be truly beautiful on the inside, or on the outside?

Friendship was only skin-deep. More than half her life had been thrown away because of a flesh wound!

To think, Brianna had been seriously contemplating cutting off her own hand for that bitch. Obviously Brianna had cared about Kristen way more than Kristen had ever cared about her. The tears flowed freely down her face as she turned her head to watch the falling snow.


	20. Chapter 20

Christmas morning came and brought with it a fresh snowfall. Brianna was walking home from the nearby store, dragging behind her a buggy loaded with groceries and what she considered to be pity snacks. As she bent to scrape the snow from the wheels, she suddenly felt like an old-fashioned girl; lugging the groceries home on foot, the image of a horse carriage still fresh in her mind.

Children's laughter floated down the street as Brianna stood up, and she pictured them making igloos and having snowball fights, then rushing in with frozen noses to have a cup of hot chocolate in front of the fire. Brianna remembered doing that. It was fun. It was probably more fun with other kids.

Her smile was bittersweet as she closed the distance between her and her uncle's house, and she let herself in noisily, standing on the towels that had been laid down in anticipation of her return. Her father and brother were sitting there with an attractive middle-aged woman, who looked up from the papers before her.

"And is this Brianna?"

"Yes."

"So, I presume, there are no children." She looked at Mr. Portman. "Who is your landlord?"

"I'm their landlord," Brianna's uncle answered. "And I assure you, I'm quite happy with my tenants. However your home is more conveniently located. I can guarantee they are neat, quiet, and respectful."

Brianna forced a smile at the stranger as she walked into the isolated living room down the hall. Bending down to check the battery charge of her phone, she saw a letter with her name on it. She tore into it and began reading. The news was wonderful, and unable to shake her depression her lips barely lifted into a smile.

She stood and walked back into the other living room. She folded her hands in front of her and waited respectfully for a break in the conversation.

"I am selling and renting several properties. One of them is in escrow."

"Terrific, we would love to come see it."

"Please do." The woman began standing. "You made a terrific impression today." She shook Mr. Portman's hand. "Thank you for calling."

"I have some news that might make an impression even more," Brianna stepped in neatly. "I just got accepted into Columbia University!"

"CU? That...that's in NY!"

"That's my alma mater," the woman added. "Congratulations."

"Thank you."

The woman turned her attention back to Mr. Portman. "I'm showing the house to three couples tomorrow. If you could stop by the day after..."

"Sure thing."

"Here's my card. See you then." The woman stepped out of the house and Brianna's uncle waved to her before shutting the door.

"There's no way we can afford to send you to New York," Mr. Portman said immediately.

"I'll walk."

"Brianna..."

"This is about my life," Brianna snapped. "I'll beg for my job back if I have to. Oh God, you didn't know," she added without taking a breath.

Brianna's uncle shifted restlessly. "Well...I'll send you to New York."

"What?"

"I never went to college. You have got to do this."

"I couldn't ask you to do that."

"You never did."

Brianna wanted to cry again. She hugged him. "Thank you," she said, unable to say anything else.

"You never went to college and you got this place?"

Brianna's uncle shrugged. "I married a lawyer."

Mr. Portman looked at Brianna. "Hear that? Try to get a lawyer."

Brianna rolled her eyes, knowing the only man who would ever have her lived on another planet and was married to a horse.

"I'm going to go baste the turkey," Brianna's uncle said, and left the living room.

Brianna turned to her father. "Okay, I need you to try and do something for me," she said hopefully.

"What?"

"Well...keeping in mind I took you in, and you kind of cost us everything and now I'm going to college."

"Sure. What?"

Brianna stared into her father's eyes. "I need you to quit drinking."

"You know, when your mother brought you to the hospital, she found me and said the exact same thing...She said that if I didn't smarten up, I would lose you, one way or another."

Brianna shrugged. "He's right."

"But you need to think here. You need to decide if this college is the right one. Your uncle is taking a big financial loss here..."

"I didn't ask for that. But it's important."

"I know it is. And very expensive. You've got to think about travel, luggage, what you'll pick as your major..."

"I already picked my major," she answered mysteriously.

"Really? What is it? Tell me."

Brianna's thoughts focused on the scarred Partholonian Healer she closely resembled, and the inspiration she had ignited beyond the grave. Her path was clear and bright; her future predestined. Mirrors, even broken mirrors, were still reflective.

She looked into her father's eyes and finally she smiled. "Medicine," she announced. "I'm going to pursue a doctoral degree."

"Wow! Honey, that's great! You won't even need to marry a lawyer."

Brianna rolled her eyes again.

"What made you choose that?"

Brianna blinked quickly at him, knowing she could never tell him about Partholon. "I'm not sure exactly," she began. "I think it's just...part of me."

Her father hugged her, and for the first time in many years she did not detest his touch. She hugged him back, hoping dearly that he would keep his promise while she was away.

"I want you to call me. A lot. Every Sunday," Mr. Portman told her as they walked into the turkey-scented kitchen. "Hey, Lou. My daughter's going to be a doctor."

"That sounds so stuck-up," Brianna said instinctively. "I prefer the term, 'Healer.'"


	21. Chapter 21

The train station was sprinkled with old snow, and small flakes still fell, blowing dreamily in the glow of the lights. Brianna hurried under the roof as the train came screeching to a gradual stop, and brushing the snow off her jacket she got in line and waited to board, retrieving her ticket from her upper coat pocket. Her grief for Elphame and the mutant child had not lifted, but it was lessened by the pride she had in herself.

Here she was, going to New York to try and make something of herself. Something so important, it transcended worlds.

The line began moving and Brianna took in the sleek, shiny design of the train. Those Partholonian people had no idea what they were missing out on. And unfortunately, Brianna was the only person alive who knew what the people on her home world were missing out on.

She finally stepped up onto the train and showed her ticket before choosing a seat and stowing away her luggage, punching it firmly into place. Sitting down she noticed the other passengers staring at her, and she habitually ducked her face to hide behind her hair. Scooting forward, she swung her backpack into her lap and retrieved some art supplies; then put her backpack on again and began to draw.

Smooth lines. Hard lines. Long lines. Little lines. Brianna had been drawing intently for several minutes when a voice broke into her concentrated thoughts. "Hey there. This seat taken?"

"No," she answered, without glancing up. She didn't want anyone to stare.

He sat beside her and caught a glimpse of her drawing. Suddenly he was scooting closer to get a better look, and when his hand touched hers Brianna looked quickly up at him - and felt her heart skip a beat. It was Cuchulainn! Or, maybe more precisely, Cuchulainn's mirror image...

"That looks like me." He looked at her. "Have we met before?"

Her features expressed her sadness. "No," she whispered.

He looked a little perturbed by the incident and unwittingly went about putting away his luggage. Brianna averted her eyes, but found the same face looking back at her on paper. She turned the page as her tears began to fall on her notebook. Too shy to say anything bold, and not allowed to tell him the truth, Brianna was forced to say nothing.

Keeping her head bowed and her face hidden from him, Brianna closed her eyes and willed her tears to stop. She tried to ignore his presence...until she realized that the song playing on his MP3 was Ghost Love Score.

Her head lifted and she looked nervously at him; and from inside her heart, a preternatural whisper urged her on.

She turned to a fresh page in her book and quickly scribbled down the name of the band, the name of the song, and the name of the singer; then held it up for him to read. As Cuchulainn's mirror image graced her with his million dollar smile, Brianna felt something other than the whisper of a Goddess inside her heart. She felt an emotion very important to doctors, an emotion she hadn't felt in far too long. She felt hope.


End file.
